20 Reasons You Should Take Yourself Seriously (A Helpful Diagnostic Tool)

1. No one ever changed your diaper

2. You never wet the bed (…but sometimes your “friend” who was sleeping in the same bed did)

3. You’ve never farted, nor do you imagine you’ll start now

4. Your job cannot be done by anyone else, ever

5. If you suddenly ceased to exist, it would probably incite the apocalypse

6. You’ve never laughed so hard you cried

7. Everyone laughs at all of your jokes

8. You always only drink just the proper amount of alcohol to remain sophisticated, yet social

9. You’ve never failed a test

10. You’ve never gotten lost

11. Your breath smells like roses and butterscotch

12. You’ve never had an ingrown hair

13. You’ve never dripped food on your shirt

14. You’ve never had a crush on someone who wasn’t also madly in love with you

15. Your nickname is Don Juan (and people say it with a straight face)

16. Your parents are pleased with all of the choices you’ve made in life

17. You’ve never told a lie

18. You’ve adopted more children and given more money to charity than Angelina and Brad

19. The last time you cried was the day you were born

20. People like you enough to put up with you taking yourself seriously

*BONUS:  You write a post this short and there’s not two obvious typos in the first two lines

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