Update On Hiatus Status And Liebster Award

From what I understand, the Liebster Award is basically like the blog version of this guy…

From what I understand, the Liebster Award is basically like the blog version of this guy…

I didn’t think I’d miss writing after like, what, a month? Five weeks– max?

I’m such a softie.

I’m still editing my behemoth of a… well, I won’t even go there. And by “editing” I really mean going to meet my friend for coffee.

She JUST got back from Mexico.

No seriously, I have to stop procrastinating.

But it IS her birthday in two days.

Anyway.

I haven’t seen her in a really long time! (And I can bring my dog!)

I firmly believe in not talking about projects which you actually care enough about to want to complete them. In fact, it’s how I finally came to some sort of camaraderie with celebrities who don’t want to talk publicly about their personal lives… Because that’s exactly how you mess up a good thing. (Well, it’s one of the ways).

Although for me it’s not even a matter of ‘privacy’ it’s just the fact that every time I tell someone what I’m working on, it’s like seven years of bad luck [for whatever it is I’m doing]. It sets me back or something strange like that.

Please note, the wind is blowing so hard off the cornfield which abuts my house that I think it is reverse-coming through the chimney and fireplace.

So I’m just not going to publicly address any of the myriad of small and big things I’m working on (which, if they’re anything like the rest of my life, the small will end up big and the big will end up small).

But relaxing the pressure off writing here has been kind of nice. It’s like the person you meet who doesn’t want a relationship and it makes you want one more. It’s like a challenge. And space. Space is like the greatest aphrodisiac for me right now.

Space and freedom*, let me addend. So I guess it stands to reason when I gave myself some room for that here, it was only a matter of time before I came stumbling back to my old stomping grounds.

The realistic style was cramping my style for awhile there. (Now I’m into poetry…) But now after wallowing in the depths of some fiction, I’m ready for a bit more solid ground.

So I guess I would simply like to mention a small number of things in this decidedly ambling post about everything and nothing at the same time. 😉

First of all, I was a real jerk. (Not the first time. Not the last. But there is a time specifically I wish to address here.) Someone nominated me last week (I think a week ago today, actually) for a Liebster Award.

This lovely lady by the name of Sarah Key who writes a pretty cool blog which you may find here, was the girl who liked my questionable writing enough to nominate me for this little indie blogging community honor.

I haven’t responded yet (which is where I and asshole collide into one term), but the request is that you fill out this little ten question thing and then nominate another ten of your favorite bloggers who fit certain criteria and then ask THEM to fill out YOUR ten questions. It’s like the cootie game or something. Or tag you’re it!

Right?

Something like that.

Well, part of the reason I have yet to respond is that I kind of don’t follow any other blogs because I usually have my head so far up my own as– assortment– of things going on that it’s all I can do to find time to finish Lolita, which I started a few weeks ago and have no excuse to have not finished except it started getting a little depressing around some parts, and I really think it should probably be saved for sunnier, warmer, more gin-inclined weather. But… I suppose that’s neither here nor there.

The couple of other blogs I happen to frequent (and by frequent I mean maybe once per quarter) have too many followers to be nominated.

Okay, so I’m kind of breaking the rules. Not because I don’t want to give fellow small bloggers their day in the sun (which I do, theoretically), but because I can’t be disingenuous enough to pretend like I read things I don’t.

I’m just a creep like that.

So here’s a list of my nominations. Based on the simple fact that I like their shit. And I have no idea how many followers or subscribers they have, but I’m sure it’s more than me. (Which, I suppose is the opposite of the purpose of this award. Okay, I’m really messing up today. Anyway, that’s never stopped me before.)

10. Celebrity Life Coach

Probably the funniest person I’ve come across online in a very long time. And we have the same last name.

Which is a total coincidence. As far as I’m concerned.

9. Father John Misty

Currently my favorite musician. He’s also quite attractive. He also shares my birthday. (Unfortunately he was born first. So I suppose technically I share his. I’m not sure I was born willing to do that.)

I swear, this isn’t a post on nepotism. (Birthdays, last names… trust me, there’s nothing in it for me.)

8. Blonde Coyote

This girl Mary is a kick-ass adventure and outdoors-woman who is a very big inspiration to me.

_________________________________

I feel like I’m running out of imagination juice because between my dog’s aimless ramblings through the living room (which becomes my walk of guilt, as I realize I have not taken him for a walk this side of the sunrise) and the fact that this coffee is too weak (oh crap, did I ever mention I’m semi-back on that stuff? Yeah, I gotta update… ) I’m having trouble thinking of other blogs I read…

Let me quickly check my history and bookmarks.

_________________________________

(This is where you open iTunes and play some nice waiting music, whatever suits your style.)

7. Oh! This couple is pretty cool. 

6. Sweet band who apparently really likes Adventure Time. 

(Wow, this is not a blog. I’m really going off the rails.)

5. I wish I had thought of this. 

4. OH! I did have a blogger on here! Leo… Something Something. he has a cool name and knows his shit about astrology. Check him out. 

My dog just sat on my left arm, rendering it generally useless. This post has suddenly taken a macabre turn and it will now take me twice as long to finish.

[Phew. He fled… That was a close one.]

Okay my dog is getting so antsy he’s taken to licking the front of my sweater which hasn’t been washed since I purchased it just prior to Christmas… and yet has been worn every day. This could get disgusting…

Seriously. I want to throw up. What is he finding on there?

3. This band of brothers is pretty hilarious and their hijinx on the road is actually pretty entertaining. 

2. Alright, I’m kind of obsessed with this girl’s fuuuucking awesome work. She’s this photographer who captures the world in such a way that I actually understand photography as an art. (That concept  continuously eluded me– for the longest time).

She’s also just recently married to Josh Tillman, AKA Father John Misty, of the band Father John Misty. Oh, her name’s Emma Elizabeth Tillman. Check it.

(Also, I apologize in advance, Ms. Tillman, I did bring a dog there to your website but um. I have his service papers at home, I swear.)

1. (By the way, this list is in no particular order and I’m really reaching to get to ten.)

It’s like a pie eating contest and I’m forcing myself to eat one last pie, even though the idea of looking at a pie (any pie) is the most disgusting thing in the world to me and my mouth is watering in nauseating salivation just contemplating it visually.

I’m just kidding. It’s not that bad.

And wow, now I feel really bad for whoever #1 is to be associated with that distinction. It’s not personal, #1. And hey, at least you’re first.

I mean last…

Well, at least you’re mentioned at all!

God. Way to be ungrateful.

(I’m pretty sure the shovel just got blown clear off the porch. This wind is like a fucking winter hurricane.)

Okay, after much shuffling through a shit ton of absolute garbage which me in a past incarnation must have saved to my bookmarks page (seriously– I hope I hit my head on a really hard object to have produced some of those saved sites) I found one that is quite apt and apparently it just so happens to be a WordPress blog, which I think should earn me, and it, some extra points. 

Plus if I recall from reading this article awhile back, it was actually pretty funny. (But I’m so sick of looking through old sites right now I refuse to go back and read it.)

Alright, so give it a whirl. Flavorwire. You are a cool and ridiculous blog and therefore you make this really whimsical and absolutely stupid list I have created while my dog plots ways to kill me for not taking him on a walk sooner than fifteen minutes from now.

Alright. I must go tend to my motherly duties. Hopefully you have found this sufficiently enlightening. If you care to see my answers to Sarah’s ten questions… I pity your boss because your productivity must be extremely low today.

But because I’m a believer in free will, here you go.

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