Month: May 2017

I Appreciate You Guys So Much

I’ve been having some crazy (awesome) experiences that have kind of taken my breath away, and in a weird way, I just want to focus on them for awhile but maybe, who knows how long that could be. I’m just kind of being blown away with some of the things I have learned and like, seeing them happen in my life, slowly but surely and bit by bit and gaining momentum, these things keep happening where I feel like I’ve tapped into something and I’m not sure what it is, but it’s like the other side of a curtain that I’ve HEARD existed but never really KNEW or saw as fully or as much as I am experiencing now and it’s difficult to explain, but anyway, THANK you for reading. THANK you for commenting.

Every time one of you comments, I’m like, blown away that you took the time to do it. Honestly. And every time one of you is on here and reads something, that means a lot to me. Not because I am saying anything important, but just that someone is connecting with me on some level of my mind on some level with theirs.

That means everything to me. Me being connected with me, and me being connected with others, with you. But mostly, me being connected with me. But the more I connect with me, the more I connect with others, too.

There’s no way for me to describe the things that have been happening, and I know they’ll become more and more. The one thing I hope to ever share with you, besides maybe making you laugh and see something in a new and cool way, or a positive way, or let you know that I agree with you and I see it that way, too, but I think the most important thing that any human being can learn in their life, is that their thoughts CREATE things, that their THINKING creates their world, and that what they want DOES matter. That their dreams DO matter, and that their deepest, truest desires are known by the universe.

I think that any happiness anyone feels, is ultimately some form of seeing agreement with that, and any other emotion you feel that isn’t happy, is you not feeling agreement with it. So for me, no matter what it is that YOU want, I think the key to a happy life is knowing how to get it. Not because things matter, but because YOU matter, and because what YOU desire matters, and because you have more power than you have ever (likely) heretofore known.

And besides, hearing about someone else’s experience, you know, I can have THE SEEMINGLY MOST MINUTE thing happen to me, and it can LITERALLY blow my mind, because of the timing or the specificity of it, and the way that it helps me know that I am worthy and I am loved and that I am on the trail of my dreams, but to you, it might mean nothing at all. And vice versa. So I won’t spend my time here (or yours!!!) expounding upon any of that, but right now I’m just kinda bipping along and having fun and focusing on some different things and “realizing things” and I hope that you are, too.

I hope you’re doing whatever makes you happy, makes you feel free, brings you joy. I hope you are making decisions in favor of you and leading with your heart and your truest and deepest desires. I hope you are holding yourself to the HIGHEST echelon of esteem and favor in your own eyes, in the highest dignity and respect and love that you can hold for anyone on this planet.

I hope that you are honoring your desires and taking them seriously (not TOO seriously, but you are acknowledging them and validating them within yourself, no matter how “unrealistic” they seem).

But the best I can do for anyone, including you, but especially me, is just be doing all that for myself, and let myself live as an example for the world. Because the truth of the matter is, we are all living, breathing examples of SOMETHING, just by virtue of our very existence.

I think life gets really fun when we allow ourselves to want what we want because when we want what we want, we become who we are; we come out of the closet to ourselves. When we no longer hold ourselves down with limiting beliefs (all limiting beliefs are only ever self-limiting ones) then there is NO limit to what we can achieve. I am seeing and learning that now within my own life and things are picking up speed in many directions and I feel so fortunate and also I know I AM NOT special, and it’s accessible to anyone else and everyone else, and that’s why I love sharing it with you.

Something I have had to let myself do, is give IN to my desires and to LITERALLY come out of the closet with myself on SO MANY THINGS that I genuinely want. And it’s always-changing; it’s an ever-evolving thing. It’s like a holographic prism. But there are some things that stay more steady and staid than others, and there are some things I’m open to finding more and more clarity on, and it’s all, inherently good.

I think the biggest thing I am learning, and this is something that is really cool and I think it may be THE thing, is just letting yourself want what you want, and not getting in your own way, and giving it out to the universe and saying, ‘Okay, universe, this is what I want, send it back to me how you can, and thanks.’ and kind of letting go, and trusting in that, but ACKNOWLEDGING to yourself that you want whatever you want, and it’s almost like being naked in front of yourself, to be really real and just say, “Yeah, I want that.” And no if’s, or but’s. Just “Yes. I want it. And thanks.”

Admitting it to yourself is the FIRST AND ONLY STEP. ADMITTING IT TO YOURSELF. IF YOU CAN’T EVEN ADMIT IT TO YOURSELF, THEN HOW ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE IT OUT INTO THE WORLD? How are you going to allow yourself to manifest it, if you won’t even look yourself straight in the eye about it? I truly think admitting to yourself what you desire, and gently coming on board with agreement with yourself that you can have it, that you know you are worthy and that you can have it because you can have anything in this entire universe that you want, is the key. (Did you get all that?) HAHAHA.

Just letting yourself go with your own flow and not blocking it with feelings of unworthiness or any other kind of self-limiting belief.

Let yourself feel worthy, let yourself feel loved (you are both, always) and let yourself want what it is you want, without getting in the way. Want what you want and let yourself go. It’s coming to you, as long as you can feel relaxed and believing about it.

Alright that is all for now. I hope you sleep SO incredibly well. Thank you for your friendship over screens! It is much appreciated; you guys are awesome.

ALL THE LOVE sleep tight and sweet dreams 🙂 🙂 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤

EM

SEBO!!!!!!!!

People are always asking me how I keep my house so clean.

(Okay, they’re not but someday maybe they will!!)

(Once I hire a maid.)

And whenever they do (they actually don’t), I ALWAYS TELL THEM: SEBO! (but I would if they did.)

(If my house is dirty, I blame it on the maid. Once I get a maid, I’ll blame the clean on me.)

It’s my German secret for clean.

(If you saw my house, you’d think I was offending the Germans.)

Anyway. So far, I love this vacuum. This is the first truly nice vacuum I have ever owned and I never knew the difference in ease (propulsion) and air quality (filter) that having a nice vacuum could have.

I’m NO cleaning expert and I’m no vacuum expert; I went by reviews, and also the man at my local vacuum store, who actually, sold my mom HER first nice vacuum probably close to a quarter century ago (it’s still going strong), he above and beyond recommended this one to me.

I’m not one to take anyone’s word for it, so I did my own independent review, and it seemed he was on to something. And I probably would have been happy with a lot of different other ones, too. But this one has been really good.

I plan on having houses from now on that don’t have carpet; only hard floors, however I DO LOVE my rugs. I have two that I’ve collected that are wool and they are my pride and joy (first them, then my dog, then Oprah). I LOVE wool rugs, especially ones that are wool and hand-dyed and hand-made and all that.

I’m a nerd for Oriental and Persian rugs. But I DIE FOR HARD floors of anything made of natural materials like wood, stone, whatever else. So anyway. I intend on using this vacuum solely for my rugs pretty soon.

Anyway, I think it’s a smart investment to get ONE really good vacuum that you’ll have maybe your whole life (or close to it) because I’ve seen how quickly you can go through cheaper vacuums, and before you know it, you’ve spent the equivalent of quality one that could have lasted forever.

There isn’t a right or wrong way to do it; that’s just me. Also, this brand is devoted to being “green”, from what I know, and their business model’s idea, is that they don’t want to create landfills of waste from their products; they want them to last forever.

So I appreciate that value because it’s in alignment with me. 🙂

I’ve had a lot of fun enjoying my vacuum. As I was just telling my neighbor today, I love vacuuming, doing the dishes, and laundry. Those are the house-cleaning things that I like. When it comes to scrubbing, I fall short. But I think “god” did that because he (I’ll always anthropomorphize him) can’t make ANYBODY perfect, and he almost accidentally did it with me, so then he said, okay… make her lackadaisical about scrubbing vertical surfaces.

Done.

So, I accept my lot in life.

But yeah, if you have a kind of vacuum you like, too, let me know in the comments below! I’m always happy to hear a good happy vacuum story. I actually was going to do a post on Comet, too. That stuff is MY LIFE. I’ve found that… Well, I’ll save the story for you for the post.

That’s all for now!!!!

TATA

❤ M

Here are some modeling pictures of my vac. To me, this thing is an innovative piece of art.

I’ve gotten used to it now, but switching from the old vacuum I had, to this, felt like… It felt like butter. It felt like I finally understood what a “good” vacuum was all about. Also, the air seemed so much cleaner after using this one, which has filters (my other one didn’t, which I also liked, because you could just empty the plastic container a hundred thousand times, but I notice a difference in air quality with this, immediately. I never knew what people were talking about when they said that, until I experienced it first-hand for myself).

 

These Cans’ Artwork Is Gorge

three-core-and-Krush

So I was just checking out the concert calendar on one of my… well, my only favorite music station. If I ever do listen to the radio, it’s the only one I have on, WEQX.

Anyway. I was on there and I saw this ad for this beer. I don’t know this beer; I’ve never drank this beer. I drink beer, but not a whole lot and I drink whatever’s there; I’m not super picky or by any means a connoisseur but I do tend to like the lighter ones better than the dark ones. The dark ones heeb me out. They’re way too BEER for me. They’re way too, “What the fuck is that; I’d rather be drinking straight mud… Here, you drink it.”

Anyway I just loved this fucking artwork and thought you may too!!!!

Apparently their beer coming in cans in a new thing; I didn’t even know it came in bottles.

FUCKING LOVE THESE CANS. FUCKING FUCKING LOVE.

SUPER SWEET DEAL WITH THE ARTWORK FOOOO’S.

If you like beer, check them out. Maybe their beer is as good as their design.

Helene Hadsell- Quote

“You possess all the capabilities for self-enrichment.

You need only exercise these powers.

As you begin, have no concern whether you are proceeding correctly.

Just begin.”

By The Way– This Shit Is HILARIOUS!!!

When I was clicking on the first or second video for Helene, this came up and this is what I always say about companies– commercials, for me, don’t work. They just don’t. I know what I like, and you’re not changing my mind.

HOWEVER.

IF.

IF>>>> you can come up with a commercial that’s entertaining and/or makes me laugh, then I’m way more likely to buy your stuff.

And this totallllllly did that. Now granted, I’m not going to freaking buy myself a ring. BUT. James Allen is really making me like them with this commercial and based on the comments on YouTube, they hit a home run because basically everyone was there because they saw it as an ad on YouTube, and NOT ONLY DID THEY NOT CLICK SKIP THE AD, BUT LIKE ME, THEY WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND THAT AND ACTUALLY TRACKED IT DOWN ON YOUTUBE ITSELF TO RE-WATCH IT.

That’s a pretty big compliment. I hope it translates for them into sales. I’d be curious to know the numbers.

I’ve definitely been on their site many times before, and I’ve found it a little tricky to navigate in some ways, like they almost have TOO MANY OPTIONS for customization and it kind of makes my head spin, like you can choose to mount ANY DIAMOND IN THE WORLD BASICALLY and all these other settings choices and all these other things which makes me a little wanting to throw up just thinking of it, but I’ve appreciated the uniqueness of their site BECAUSE their ability to customize is so far and above any other.

Some places, like say Tiffany’s, or Cartier, you’re basically buying into a design. You’re buying into an ideal, a pre-conceived notion. David Yurman, you know, anyone who’s ALREADY ESTABLISHED THEMSELVES INTO DESIGN AND WHO HAS THEIR OWN AESTHETIC, that is what you’re getting.

In those examples, the options are basically minimal and already laid out for you. They’re very finite and you basically choose a designer whose aesthetic matches yours, and pick from what they have. James Allen is a much more interactive approach. There are things I like about that, and things I find– especially doing it through a computer screen (and I’m a very visceral, tactile person) and not sitting down with a jeweler, a pencil and paper, and a satchel of stones, is a little bit like… kind of super abstract and little bit overwhelming and not fully materialized enough. But there are cool creative aspects to it, too.

**I will say, if you have the option, go to James Allen on a computer or at least a tablet. I think it’s a far superior way to figure out what you are doing, to have a whole screen, than to try to navigate it on a phone.**

My point being of all of that is, a commercial like this, illustrate’s a brand’s true values, or at least their underlying ones, and true sense of humor, and adding humor to like “ROMANCE” and “MARRIAGE” I think is a really bold move and a brilliant one at that. I love humor basically above all.

And when a company can find a way of enmeshing themselves in such a happy, light-hearted, positive way with customers, then they’ve done their job, as far as I can see. People are now going to have a totally different perspective of a jewelry company, which, as far as I have ever seen before, is kind of serious and one-note. So, although NOTHING appeals to all, it seems they’ve found a winner that appeals to most (as far as I can tell, again, based upon the comments, and CERTAINLY based upon my own reaction here).

I’ve always loved commercials that were well-done, and this one is. So anyway, James Allen, my hat OFF to you because this is a genuinely good ad. The other company which had ads that had me ROLLING laughing and LITERALLY crying, were the “sour, then sweet” sour path kids ones. I saw one, probably on some video as an actual ad, and then I tracked them all down and watched all of them because they were SO FUCKING FUNNY AND SO FUCKING GOOD.

If you can make tears stream down my face from laughing in a commercial, to me, you are the most brilliant ad-creator in the entire world.

Helene Hadsell

Helene is amazing.

Hearing her story and hearing her speak, she’s just someone who…

She really gets it. And she’s extraordinary.

I think she’s one of the greatest masters of life I have ever witnessed, and I’ve seen quite a few, and I’ve focused upon finding them. And she really blows me away. Plus she’s so sweet, and also, based on her life, not only did she live the principles she teaches so gracefully, but she has a lasting marriage, a great family, she’s a really CENTERED PERSON. I love hearing her story and her message, because even though you could say it’s “materialistic”, to my way of thinking, it’s really not. It’s all about enhancing her life (and her family’s), but the things are more like fun projects, than anything else.

When you REALIZE you have this power, life gets really fun. I believe we are all here to have fun. And I KNOW we all have equal access to this power; and that it’s solely a matter of accessing it, and acknowledging that it exists, and that we do.

Feeling worthy, knowing that whenever we ask, it is given, and that there’s nothing that we need to do in order to achieve our dreams, other than focusing positively upon them, and knowing that in the moment that we ask, they are already given; they are already ours.

I think it’s the most empowering, uplifting message I have ever heard. And she isn’t the only one saying it. I love listening to anyone who does!!!

❤ I hope you enjoy, too.

There’s a lot of stuff about her on the internet. These are just some of my favorites.

Sometimes I feel like Helene is my fairy godmother. I love her so much.

It is my truest desire that you enjoy her, too!!!!

(And her cheetah print robe is to die for)

That’s what drew me in! That’s how I knew she was legit!!!!!! ❤ 😉 😉 ❤

I HOPE I AM AN OLD LADY LIKE THIS SOMEDAY SHE IS SO MAGIC.

Her knowledge and wisdom absolutely blows me away. Here is the biggest thing FOR ME and I am never (and certainly not now) ever trying to talk you or anyone else into anything; people must be free to follow their hearts. The thing I want to point out here, what made this so poignant to me, is that, listening to her speak, there’s really no way to put it into words, you know, the BEING of a person, but it’s the fact that everything she speaks of, and everything she says, sounds and feels SO “spiritual” to me!

And the teachings of Abraham Hicks, I believe, in all that I’ve read and heard from them (which is a shit ton and a lot– much more than Helene, which, the extent of what I know of her is MOSTLY from these videos I’m sharing with you here, and also, one other interview somewhere on the web, and a few scant writings), corroborate this. The thing that really blows me away is that so many people are coming to practice and know and understand things now, and just HOW FAR AHEAD OF HER TIME THAT SHE WAS.

And no doubt, there were many before her, too.

The thing I love so much is the emphasis on upliftment and positivity and your mood. It really is about coming into alignment with yourself, and that has wonderful benefits, beyond just “getting what you wanted”; that will help every relationship you have in your life, too! I can’t say enough things about her, but you’ll just have to witness for yourself. She is to me, in every way, amazing, that she took this one small kernel of truth and so purely tried it, and then so PURELY continued to use it, it just BLOWS MY FREAKING MIND.

AMAZING. Amazing for her spirit and her kind of “higher level thinking”, not just for “winning stuff”, although that is cool, too. Also the fact that she always shows and expresses that it can be true for ANYONE. She’s not ever saying that she’s special or that she possesses a power that anyone of us lacks. I love THAT about her, too. Her transparency is gold.

I love this stuff because I believe that’s why we are here; to explore, to love each other, to have fun, to express and experience joy, and NOT to suffer or be deprived. Things are just like anything else; when you allow yourself to have them, they actually LOSE their mystery, and they fit casually and seamlessly into your life. There is no reason for you to NOT live a life of great abundance, if that is what you want!!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

If we come from the universe doesn’t it make sense we have access to ALL OF THE RESOURCES WE CAN IMAGINE?!?!

The more I think of that, the more it seems to me, to be true. 🙂 ❤

Sjowgren and Grilled Cheese

Alright I’m always mouthing off on recipes as jokes BUT IN ALL SERIOUSNESS here…

Grilled cheese for me has always been THE most complicated thing to make. (Not because like, it’s HARD ingredient wise, clearly) but because I ALWAYS FUCKING BURNT THE BREAD. I couldn’t find a way of melting the cheese in the middle WITHOUT burning the bread. I just want to tell you, I’ve finally had a breakthrough which works.

Cover the mo-fucking pan!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(I KNOW I’ve done it before but for some reason I never had an epiphany that it’s like, THE ONLY WAY that works for me).

Literally just cover the pan and it works. It melts the cheese BEFORE THE BREAD GETS BURNED.

HERE’S ONE MORE TRICK THAT WILL SAVE YOU A LOT OF TIME AND BREAD.

IF YOU HAPPPPPPPEN TO BURN THE SHIT…

(NOT SAYING I EVER DO EVERY SINGLE TIME BUT JUST FOR THOSE WHO MIGHT HAVE A LITTLE TEENSY PATTERN OF BURNING SHIT TO WHERE YOU’RE AMAZED THE SMOKE ALARM DOESN’T GO OFF)

Take a knife, preferably one with a serrated edge, and kind of like… I’m trying to think how to explain what you do… You’ll probably just figure it out on your own, but you can really scrape the burnt part away so that only the light bread is left underneath. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve done this. The burnt part comes right off, into like, dust.

IT’S GRILLED CHEESE MAGIC.

So yeah, that’s the end of that. I can OFFICIALLY have kids now that I’ve figured out how to make basically the number one thing I will ever be cooking for them their entire lives…

So before I go have sex…

(Only kidding, only kidding, I won’t tell you all about that).

Oh yeah, Sjowgren is really winning out for me right now. That song is still the best song I’ve found since I re-started this blog. CRJ aside, Minus The Bear, “Never Gonna Leave This Bed”, even Gloria Estefan!!!!!!!!

Maybe it’s all this rainy weather.

That said.

THAT SAID.

I’m working on something REALLY COOL that I’m really excited to share with you all in a couple days, or so, (a month? two weeks?) and so I’m researching that. This rainy weather we’ve been having the last like, three days has totally lit a fire under my ass on it even more.

Alright so, I guess that’s about it for now.

And in honor of this lady’s birthday coming up in a few days, someone who has really inspired me and right at the moment, now more than ever, I want to introduce you to someone who I’ll do another post on in a minute!

All the love READERS ❤ ❤

I’m genuinely excited to embark upon this shit that I’m being very vague about right now because like, part of the blog as-is is what it was always going to be, and there’s another aspect I haven’t yet uncovered or delved into with you yet, that I’m wanting to, and I know it probably all sounds really bat-shit crazy and really vague to you right now, but it’s something that’s my passion and that’s really important to me, so I’m working on that and focusing on that until it’s ready to pop and share with you in that kind of external way.

I always liken the creative process to a pregnancy or gestation; it’s like that with animals, fruit, everything. So anyway, I’m excited for it and it’s super fucking weird talking AROUND IT but it’s something I believe I came here to do (not being as serious as all that; it’s just really mother fucking cool, and my biggest passion in life). ALRIGHT.

So that is it for now, and I’ll move onto Helene!!!!!!!!!!

PURE MOTHAFUQIN JOY

TO MY GF WHO’S RESISTANT TO LISTENING TO MY CARLY RAE BUT WHO LOVES JIMMY FALLON… I KNOW YOU’LL WATCH THIS ONE.

I’M BAITING YOU WITH JIMMY! IT’S A CARLY RAE JEPSEN TRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way after viewing this I’m overly confident that I’d be fairly proficient in playing the triangle.

This Is Going To Make Me Throw Up

[I’m listening to the Perez Hilton Podcast WITH CHRIS BOOKER YA’LL WITH CHRIS BOOKER. IT’S NOT JUST PEREZ’S PODCAST, OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s the one for May 29, 2017]

Now listen here. I’ve been reading Perez probably since like 2005, 2006. I am a legit fan-friend with him in my mind. I feel like we already are friends.

I don’t really take kindly to song recommendations. He’s always putting new music on his website and 99.99% of all of it, I completely ignore. I was RESISTANT to listening to Carly Rae’s new song. I just really like things to happen for me organically and they seem to always come up at the right time, so I never really have this need or desire to like, “seek things out”. The only songs and artists that I am FULLY IN LOVE WITH seem to always come from like, them just coming to me randomly and at the right time.

After having it hammered into my head for a couple of days, late Saturday night I finally listened to it, and it totally blew me away. She’s somehow tapped into this vein… If good pop music is a river, she’s like THE SINGULAR PERSON WHO KNOWS GEOGRAPHICALLY WHERE THE FUCK THAT RIVER IS.

Well I finally broke down and listened to that song the other night and it’s one of my favorite songs of… I was going to say the year but it’s only 5 months in, and I don’t think that does it justice. Her as an artist, it’s not even JUST the song; it’s her as an artist and the fact now that she’s given me TWO of my all-time-favorite songs of all time, that I think I am MOST excited for.

And I don’t usually even listen to pop. If you tell me basically ANY OTHER pop artist has a song out, I probably won’t listen to it. I don’t keep up with any of them, at all.

But she totally reeled me in with Call Me Maybe, which I Googled the other night, and found out was in fucking 2011 which BLEW ME RIGHT THE FUCK AWAY because that’s six years ago and it’s incredible to me it was that long ago. Anyway.

I also didn’t know (like Chris Booker says here in the PHP) that she was like some kind of gay idol or icon or music icon or whatever. But I have ALWAYS known myself to basically be a gay man in a woman’s body because I just do have impeccable taste and I’ve always loved the gays and resonated with them, I feel like the most of anyone on earth.

You can’t have THIS MUCH GOOD TASTE IN ONE BODY, PLUS LOVE MEN, AND NOT BE A GAY MALE. IT’S JUST SCIENTIFICALLY IMPOSSIBLE. ALTHOUGH I DO HAVE A BIRTH CANAL. SO LIKE, TECHNICALLY SPEAKING… I AM AN 8TH WONDER OF THE WORLD.

Gay guys bring me so much joy. One time my sister had a gay roommate and she brought he and his boyfriend here and I literally almost cried. I’m not exaggerating I had to like, reign it in and honestly control myself and my tear ducts because you can’t really explain to someone like… “I’m just so full of joy because you are my spirit animal and it makes me feel like I have found my people when I am near you.”

SO THAT BEING SAID. NOW WITH CRJ IT ALL MAKES SENSE AND I UNDERSTAND WHY I HAVE THE BEST TASTE IN THE WORLD, I’M SUPER FUCKING STRAIGHT IN LIKE, THE MOST BORING POSSIBLE WAY (which is like the equivalent of being a REALLY GAY MALE), and basically, I just now finally understand why I am a master of knowing nice things and picking out all the greatest design.

They taste is subjective, but I am here to tell you that it’s not. It’s not my “opinion”; it’s a god-given fact. Me having good taste is as much of a fact as gravity is on earth. It just is.

Me having good taste is like Michael Jordan being good at basketball. It’s like Gisele bring a model. And Adele singing and Jennifer Lawrence acting; that’s me having good taste. It just is. I can’t help it. I was born that way.

WE DON’T GET TO CHOOSE THESE GIFTS.

So that’s it; I’m gay (as a man, which makes me a straight girl). And also. Tom Hanks. Okay this video is AWESOME beyond words. It gave me so much joy. I remember hearing about this song awhile ago, but anyway, as I’ve just explained, I never jump on the bandwagon for anything; I just go for things when and if I please and when it’s the right time.

RIGHT NOW IS THE RIGHT TIME CAUSE I’VE BEEN CONVERTED TO A CRJ FAN 4 LYYYFE.

THIS VIDEO IS SO FUCKING AWESOME. DANCE ROUTINES! TOM HANKS! PREGNANCY JOKES! SOMEBODY KNOWS ME IN HEAVEN AND DIRECTED THE VIDEO FOR THIS SONG.

(IT WAS PROBABLY KURT COBAIN. KURT, YOU JOKER, YOU.)

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

NOT TO MENTION I WAS JUST THINKING OF TOM HANKS LAST NIGHT IN THE SHOWER. SO LIKE, ACTUALLY, WHAT THE FUCK.

I FUCKING LOOOOOVE IT WHEN THAT SHIT HAPPENS AND IT HAPPENS TO ME ALL THE GODDAMN MOTHER FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING TIME

ALSO

ONE LAST THING.

IF ZACH GALIFIANAKIS WANTS TO MAKE UP WITH ME FOR STEALING MY IDEA FOR TWO FERNS… HE CAN DO A DANCE ROUTINE WITH ME TO THE NEW VIDEO FOR CARLY’S NEW SONG CUT TO THE FEELING.

I WILL ACCEPT THAT OLIVE FERN BRANCH.

(ZACH I KNOW YOU READ THIS BLOG SO I AM EXPECTING A CALL FROM YOU SOON. MY NEIGHBOR JENNY’S NUMBER IS 867-5309, YOU CAN REACH ME THERE.)

THIS Is Why You Don’t Share A Blog

THIS is what you get for sharing your ideas with the world.

(And having an unfathomable host of celebrity followers.)

IMG_7136

Now I understand why when you blow out your birthday candles you aren’t supposed to tell anyone your wish.

Not only did he steal my idea and do the show before I even had time to do the first episode, he’s even managed to get a theme song, a Wikipedia account, a rating from IMDb, AND has been nominated for an Emmy– ALL WITHIN 21 MINUTES.

If there’s one thing I have learned from all of this, it’s that I DO have good ideas (with at least an 87% approval rating), and to just keep them to myself.

(Oh yeah, that’s another Emily. See lesson learned, above. ^^^)

I’m changing my name to Nemo and going some place where you can never find me.

They should make a movie about that…

Between Two Ferns

I’m going to make a new interview series called Between Two Ferns. It will be a unique creative endeavor. I came up with the name while I was outside in the yard, just happening to be hanging out between two ferns.

I think that it will be a show unlike any other unto existence.

Just me and my ferns.

Lemons Are My Favorite Fruit!!!

I don’t know how I got into it, but I pretty much always have a lemon out on my cutting board and I randomly eat them raw.

Okay, it isn’t a cutting board, it’s a piece of wood that was the top of a wine box but it does suffice. (By the way, I want more of those wooden wine boxes; those things are sick.)

I never meant to do it, but somehow, lemons started making their way into my daily routine. In fact, I don’t even really HAVE a daily routine, besides cutting up a lemon and sometimes feeding my dog.

Lemons brighten up SO many dishes with their bright and fruity taste. This is the recipe I use MOST often in my own home. It’s something I have never shared with anyone before, except exclusively here.

This is a recipe for lemons:

for this recipe you will need a lemon, a knife and a mouth

  1. buy a lemon
  2. cut it
  3. eat it
  4. I like to eat the peel too
  5. you don’t have to
  6. but you can if you want

Six easy steps to eating a lemon!!!!

I love simplifying things for people. It’s what I do.

Lemons have a lot of health benefits.

For one, they turn you into a unicorn. And unicorns are good for your health.

That’s basically all I know, but if you Google, you can probably come up with more.

On Google, they’re always just making shit up.

This is where you get the real facts.

Now I’m going to go outside and get soaked by the rain for the sake of a picture.

But first, I’m going to brush my teeth because I can’t use my lemon for covering them up ALL DAY.

It’s A Beautiful Day

❤ 😉 😉 😉

YOU LOVE THIS TOWN

EVEN IF THAT DOESN’T RING TRUE

YOU’VE BEEN ALL OVER

AND IT’S BEEN ALL OVER YOU

This video is fucking brilliant; I don’t think I’ve ever seen it before. Goddamn. BONO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

holy fucking shit.

BO.

NO.

YES.

I actually picked this song on a whim; I grabbed the video just to basically post the link. But there are SO many things I am IN LOVE WITH in this video, things that in my own kind of… I don’t exactly know how to say it but this video is almost a culmination of quite a lot of my dreams, strangely, almost like a living-waking illustration of things I have going on, so, now that I’ve POSTED this I’m going to solidly watch this vid. (Anyone who knows me, knows, music videos are like… at the very upper end of my attention-span limit. BUT I WILL SUCCEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I’M NOT TRYING TO MAKE YOU THROW UP FROM OVERDOSE OF COOLNESS BUT HONESTLY LIKE. I FEEL AS IF I MIGHT.

IF YOU CAN OVERDOSE ON HEROIN, YOU CAN OVERDOSE ON BONO.

THIS MAKES SCIENTIFIC SENSE.

TOO MUCH BONO WILL THROW YOUR SYSTEM WILDLY OUT OF WHACK. IF YOU’RE NOT USED TO THAT MUCH COOLNESS IN A SINGLE SITTING, WORK UP YOUR TOLERANCE.

DON’T BE STUPID AND TRY TO DO IT ALL AT ONCE. THERE ARE SKELETONS AND JARS OF ASHES OUT THERE NOW WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD DO IT, TOO.

PEOPLE IN EXISTENCE OF THE UNIVERSE HAVE NEVER BEEN COOLER THAN HIM.

I AM LITERALY GOING TO THROW UP.

HE IS SO FUCKING GODDAMN COOL

AND IS HIS WIFE AND KIDS.

HIS WIFE IS EVEN MORE GANGSTER THAN HIM!!!!!!!!!!

HIS FIRST DAUGHTER HAS THE SAME BIRTHDAY AS HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BONO’S IN CHARGE OF THE UNIVERSE ^^^, THAT’S WHAT THAT MEANS.

HOW FUCKING GANGSTER CAN THAT EVEN BE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m actually showing restraint. And being subtle.

When I have a kid I’m naming them Bono.

Everyone Following, Reading

and everyone not following, not reading, too!

Thank you just for being you!!!!!!!! It’s just what makes the world go ’round.

There is so much to wonder at, to appreciate, to experience and to explore.

Life is continually expanding and moving forward into new horizons, all because of you and your energy and your uniqueness. It wouldn’t be the same WITHOUT YOU.

I appreciate you!!!!!!!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!! And I hope that tonight, you have THE most wonderful dreams. 🙂 🙂 🙂

Enjoy your sleep, enjoy your evening, enjoy your bed!!!!!!

❤ ❤ ❤

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This is just me winding down before bed.

Love love love love love love love

Em

 

LOVE THIS SKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

“You want a brownie?”

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Miley’s Neil Lane, Boucheron & Yurman

I said I would post these and I still love them HOWEVER now that I’m on David Yurman I’m kind of in love with THEIRS.

I’ve never seen yellow gold and solitaire diamond done by Yurman before and there’s something innocent and youthful to me about it.

The Neil Lane designed by Liam for Miley is beautiful and one of my all-time favorite rings I have ever, ever seen. And like I said before, I love them together as a pair. The Boucheron is SO classic. It’s currently for sale on 1stdibs.com.

Anyway, these are super cool. I love seeing people’s rings, even in the grocery store. I’m always looking at rings and complimenting people on them. It’s kind of cool in a way, because it’s one of those kind of like “generic” pieces that so many people have, so there’s that basic, underlying thing, (the ring itself), which makes it so much cooler to see what EACH PERSON does with theirs.

There’s really no other piece of jewelry that is so ubiquitous so I find it interesting, looking at people’s rings because they’re so indicative, to some degree, of them. And for most people, it’s a piece that they get that’s meant to last a lifetime, if not at least the next ten or twenty years (until they get a new one). So, given the “lasting-ness” of it, it’s cool to see what they picked. Wedding rings and engagement rings are like the tattoos of jewels.

It’s always fun to see people’s different tastes in designs and in stones.

❤ ❤ ❤

David Yurman: Amulets

These are really cool!!!!

Amulets ❤ ❤ ❤

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OKAY I REALLY Am Learning Spanish

I need to learn this language because I am obsessed with Perez and his mother and his videos with his kids they are the cutest things I have ever seen in my entire life and I want to live part of the year in Miami and be CUBAN.

I am mentally working my accent as we speak.

That said.

So in one of his latest posts on Instagram (which is WORTH watching because anything with his mom and his kids and him dancing is not to be missed by anyone who enjoys feeling joy) he posted some Spanish words at the end and in googling them, here is what I found. (The word is azabache)

(She was holding some kind of black little bead and this is what came up when I googled it, maybe she’s holding some kind of onyx.)

And listen, people. Please.

You think that having good taste is so easy, well, I’m here to tell you that it’s not. It’s a lot to have on your shoulders, having THE most impeccable taste in the world.

IT’S SOMETHING THAT I LIVE WITH EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

I’ve been a fan of David Yurman’s designs for over twelve years and I’m actually kind of gravitating more toward yellow gold these last several, which takes him a little out of my range, as he mostly uses silver*. *Editor’s note: upon going to his site, which I have not visited in YEARS, I see he DOES DO GOLD. Yay.

I freaking LOVE yellow gold, especially yellow gold with diamonds; the juxtaposition of the coolness of the diamond with the warmness of the gold is one of my favorite things on earth. For some reason, I can’t help but find it to be so whimsical and magical. I’m not sure if I’ve ever posted it here but I’ll have to show you a picture of Miley Cyrus’ Neil Lane engagement ring with Liam and also, this “Boucheron” ring that keeps popping up for me on 1stdibs. (You HAVE to see it; it is so cool.)

Not only that, I genuinely love THEM as a couple, and separately as people. But let me get back to Yurman Designs here first.

HOWEVER. Okay so I’m not on silver BUT.

I’m OVER THE MOON AND HEAD OVER HEELS WITH THESE THINGS. I literally thought I was dying when I saw them.

Okay maybe to you they’re not so unique but I feel like I have run the gamut and SEEN. IT. ALL. so when something strikes me as new, and I can’t even explain WHAT THIS IS or WHAT IT WOULD BE because obviously, these things do not look unique or new, at all.

But something about these, maybe it’s not in their newness or their novelty, but something about this makes me adore these. It’s probably the hippie-ness of it, airbrushed over by Yurman.

THESE ARE INCREDIBLY COOL. THESE ARE AMAZING.

I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHICH ONE I WOULD PICK. I WANT THEM ALL.

I actually do prefer the black. They’re all great. I like the black one the best but I love them all.

Here’s the link if you like them, too!!!

http://www.davidyurman.com/products/men/bracelets/spiritual-bead-bracelet-8mm-b05375mss.html

Love it, love love love.

These are “men’s” and I prefer them way more than the women’s version. (Which for me is often the case with certain things– razors (way better), shaving cream (maybe it’s sentimental from always using my dad’s), deodorant (I just like smelling like a guy when I smell my armpits, it feels comforting and nice), some backpacks and bags (LV specifically is what I am thinking of here), and a lot of tee shirts… I think that’s it. Probably not.)

GUY’S STUFF IS SO AMAZING.

I LOVE CLASSIC CUT TEE’S.

AND THEIR SWEATPANTS.

AND THE CUTS OF SOME OF THEIR JEANS.

ALRIGHT THAT WILL BE IT FOR ME FOR NOW.

LATER GATOR TATER TOT ❤ ❤ ❤

**Now that I’m back on his site, I’m kind of down a rabbit hole. I haven’t been into a store or on his site in YEARS and I’m fairly impressed with the way the designs have been changing and evolving since then. This site is really cool!! I’ve got a lot of exploring here to do. 🙂 🙂 🙂

24 Hours (+++) No Sleep

This is what it looks like!!!!!!!!!!

 

These Ghosts Know What They Are Talking About!!!!!!

“The best thing you could do for anyone that you love, is be happy! And the very worst thing that you could do for anyone that you love, is be unhappy, and then ask them to to try to change it, when there is nothing that anybody else can do that will make you happy. If it is your dominant intent to hold yourself in vibrational harmony with who you really are, you could never offer any action that would cause anybody else to be unhappy.”

— Abraham

The BEST Leggings

Being in yoga as much as I have, I have worn a lot of leggings. And over the winter I actually gave quite a few pairs away. I ended up wanting them back, but what ended up being cool is that someone got to get THOSE and it sent me on a wild goose chase for another option.

I have leggings that cost $100 per pair, and I’ve got to tell you, I enjoy these more (the ones I’m currently wearing and telling you about). The Alo ones I have are very cool and I APPRECIATE them. However, they’re a little HEAVY DUTY for me, for wearing just around the house. I do appreciate having them when I’m in an actual class. I have some motorcycle ones I think they are called, and also two pairs of the ones with leggings attached. They are REALLY well-made and with very thick fabric and I would say they ARE worth the money. I just prefer cotton and simplicity whenever I can get it.

I did use the Alo on the chillier days, when air would have gone right through cotton. So it’s all a matter of taste and utility, for sure.

It certainly depends on what you are looking for. But for a great cotton/spandex blend, these are my favorite of my life to date. I’d practically get married in them.

I will probably always be a Walmart girl at heart (to me, they’re just so good at what they do, and they have EVERYTHING), however, in this search I was driven to Target because Walmart simply didn’t carry what I wanted. (I did come away with an awesome pair of pajama shorts which probably show my butt, but that’s another story for another day.)

So at Target I found exactly what I was looking for in a girls’ clothing line that they carry called Cat & Jack. I buy size XL, and last night I ordered two pairs. I just put them on this morning and I wanted to show you how they look.

I am SO pleased with these pants and they were freaking $6!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The bike shorts I was wearing all day the other day…. I’ll include a picture here, those were $5!!!

And I got black and white in those.

I love CHEAP BASIC items. I really do. If I want something high end, then what’s what I buy. But if I want something utilitarian and comfortable and where I don’t care WHERE I get it, I just want it (in this case, I wanted a cheap, basic, cotton/spandex blend in black in the leggings and white in the bike shorts, to start).

I RUIN MY CLOTHES. It’s a known fact. Of all the things I find to be good investments, real estate and land is at the top and clothes are damn near next to nothing cause of the way I go through them and also, I freaking LOVE thrift stores. I love second-hand things and cheap-ass things when it comes to clothes.

Jeans, I kind of like nice ones of. That’s about it. And shoes. But for shirts, and anything else, I really don’t care.

It’s cotton. That’s about it. I mess it up. My favorite clothes in the world, most of them have been hand-me-downs. I have no pride or like, priority with clothes, whatsoever. I genuinely think people look better in casual beat up shit than anything else.

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Flashback to a few days ago when me and these were inseparable

These are really flattering leggings; I’ve had ones that were thinner or different material and these are REALLY nice. They’re a nice thick black and they’re the perfect texture and thickness and I’m really into them.

^^^^ My cheapest outfit EVER. Old Navy flip-flops from like SEASONS ago. (Black, you can never go wrong.) THESE leggings are my new favorite thing ever because for me comfort always comes first and my SUPER yoga leggings look SUPER yoga and they’re also super synthetic material, which is good for cold weather, in this warmer weather (and hopefully the warmer weather I’ll live in for the rest of my LIFE!!!!!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂 ) you want something that breathes, so something with a cotton blend.

These are super-well made, better than more expensive ones I have had. I am REALLY happy with these.

I’m also wearing some kind of Forever 21 cropped black cotton/something top that I definitely got on sale back in February and now the weather to wear it is coming around. I LOVE LOVE LOVE– my favorite things in the world are fucking SIMPLE cuts, SIMPLE fabrics, basic, basic, basics. Especially in black.

Who doesn’t look good in black! And it covers all your stains!

Except for my paints– those always somehow show. :p

The white paint invariably gets all over my black shit.

That’s LIVING LIFE. I GOT NO PROBLEMO WITH A LITTLE MESS.

Maybe I’ll paint today!!!!

So this is one of my favorite outfits I’ve ever put together and literally one of the cheapest and I love it. I HIGHLY recommend Target kid’s section leggings, if you can. I really preferred them in quality, style, and cut, to the ones I browsed in the juniors department.

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Cheap Ass Mascara That Is THE BEST

I’m only kidding, I don’t know if it’s the best. I don’t have any kind of brand loyalty to mascara but my feeling on it is that cheap drugstore stuff works.

These were taken early this morning and I’d just gotten out of the shower and lotioned up my face (Nivea). And then I found out I was going out, so I just threw on this mascara. I have others; this one is REALLY old but I never throw anything out unless I’m totally over it; I don’t go by expiration dates; I just use my own judgment.

This is literally like anywhere between I mean like a decade old? I have no clue.

Anyway. It works!

So Nivea lotion (both kinds, I use the thickest white cream on my forehead and eyes and the lighter one as a base over my entire face) and that mascara is all I have on here.

It did… I’m used to rubbing my eyes or like not having mascara on, so after six or eight hours or so of rubbing them around, it did look a little rock n roll but that never hurt anyone.

Here’s the pics and here’s the pic of the mascara itself. This color is a little bit more of a casual color, which I used to disdain and now I actually enjoy it. I used to be SO much more hardcore with the makeup, that I wanted everything to POP and now I’m okay with a little subtle, so I don’t mind the brown-black shade once in awhile.

Make up has become kind of a fun thing for me now because it feels totally like an option and a CHOICE and that is something so wonderful for me. 🙂 I appreciate it every day! Because I used to wear a full face of make up all the time, so it never goes unnoticed by me how lucky I am to now be comfortable in my skin and to be able to enjoy myself as I am. 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤

Procop Dagger <3

I mentioned this in the article and I didn’t KNOW the picture was still to be found.

Love this thing.

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Sick. Love. Procop!!!!!!

So sweet. I love the juxtaposition of the elements and the subject.

CLASSICALLY NOT CLASSIC AT ALL; AN INSTANT CLASSIC.

Alright THIS Is How You Do POP

FUCK

Unreal.

She’s so unbelievably good. Two hits in my mind that are legitimately some of the best songs ever written in the history of the world.

She’s so sickkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk.

LOVE THIS GIRL LOVE THIS SONG.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

PAT BENETAR VIBES RIGHT HERE. LIKE MY FIRST FAVORITE POP SONGS I EVER HEARD. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. SO MUCH HAPPINESS RIGHT NOW THAT I ACTUALLY LISTENED TO THIS AFTER KIND OF PUTTING IT OFF THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

FUCKING YES.

I honestly have not heard a song this good since Call Me Maybe, which reigns supreme in my mind forever as one of the best happy carefree dance songs EVER. And honestly this for me surpasses it now maybe only because it is NEW and it’s been a couple of years since that hit (or more than a couple). But UGH. I cannot wait for this video.

This to me, is what music is about. I don’t want to say SHOULD be about; because music is about expression of anything anyone desires. But to me, this is what I want my music to be. Happy, dreamy, fun, with a good beat.

LOVE THIS SONG. This girl can do NO wrong with me. Officially.

This is like, everything that makes me excited about in music.

Super LIGHT HAPPY POPPPY AS FUCK AND FUN.

THAT IS MUSIC TO ME.

This one is out of the park.

Gotye 2.0

What can I say. I’m a consummate artist, singer, performer.

My mastery knows no bounds.

As you can see, this is how I won my Oscar back in ’78.

Gotye wanted to use this choreography and emoting in his music video, but I said, please, Wouter, leave it to the pros (pro).

OKAY THIS IS A SPECIAL SURPRISE FOR YOU

This has been in the makings for months, and I had to keep this under wraps, which you can imagine, for me was very hard to do. It was basically how I spent all my time, energy, and focus for the last 18 or so months, bringing this together.

Hair, clothing, choreography, learning the lyrics, make up. The list goes on and on.

The garden dirt was placed for effect.

But I hope that all of my back-breaking labor was worth it, and this is something you will cherish for years to come and will be passed down from generation to generation as a hallmark of what one very dedicated and serious person can do, when they really put their mind to it.

I hope you enjoy all of the brilliant and talented minds that went into the making of this shortened feature-length film.

Boy George was actually in the kitchen, singing this with me live, but they felt the camera use was better placed on me, the talent, the experience, and the skill. (Their words, not mine.) I humbly accepted (and agreed).

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This is me being so happy that Boy George is finally in my kitchen, after all these years of texting to make a date to make this music video masterpiece.

He WOULD be in this picture, but I asked him to be taking this pic.

He is a GREAT photographer. (The world doesn’t know that about him, but he is.)

As you can see here.

(He likes to stand on counters and take pictures of me.)

OKAY I REALLY AM LEAVING

But first, this very brief instructive post for when you become too famous for your plebeian friends, and how to cut them off.

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What a dick.

GOING TO GET LEGGINGS

I’M COLLECTING LEGGINGS RIGHT NOW.

NOTICE THE DIRT.

I THINK IT’S PRETTY RAD.

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I look so legit.

“In Love With Life”

I have mad love for you crazy people!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Hope you’re enjoying your day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I was helping my neighbor Jenny with some of her gardening/dirt and it was really fun. Blue was helping, too, as you can see. 🙂 He’s very earnest.

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Clouds look like sandy beaches in the sky.

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No matter how similar, they are always new.

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Office Space (sand is from kids; I’m usually neat…)

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Strangely enough, these cloud pics are my favorite. I could look at just these forever.

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I actually used this shovel. It felt like the kind in movies where people get hit with one, and they’re down. (For good). It was that heavy. I love solid metal things and DIRT!!!!!

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The most beautiful dirt in the world. I bathed in it. (Kind of literally.)

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Most helpful in the world. (Ya. Okay.)

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Sky. Never gets old.

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His version of gardening.

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Yard

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Blue had us all home and outside with him today; he loves it when Jenny is home, too, especially, and out in the yard. And I went upstairs and laid down (on one of his beds) for a little while, and when I came back down, I saw SOMEONE had stopped over and given him a raw marrow bone (the second love of his life, beside me– I meant the bone, not the person, but he loves this person, too– it’s my dad).

Blue is THE most blessed dog in the whole entire world. I love him SO much. SO INCREDIBLY MUCH. I would mainline him if I could.

Here’s a picture from earlier today when one of his neighborhood friends had escaped into our yard, and he barked to get him in trouble then came inside and cuddled with me until Oliver’s dad came over (on his TRACTOR) and retrieved him.

I was laughing at the whole thing because Blue was being a tattle-tale, and also, I lucked out because somehow he decided it was necessary for him to come inside and sit on my lap and watch the drama go down from in there.

I am not kidding even a little bit when I say that watching Oliver’s dad bring him back home ON HIS LAP whilst riding the tractor was one of my all-time favorite things I have ever seen. I WISH I had gotten a pic but by the time they rode past the window, it was already too late.

But honestly, a once-in-a-lifetime viewing, for sure.

(Well, one can always hope.)

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Blue being haughty about the fact that he “listens”.

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Safe inside from the hubbub. (NOTHING was actually going on.)

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I am in the blue. I can never argue when he wants to cuddle. Even if he IS being dramatic.

COCONUTS MALIBU MIAMIIIII PART DEUX

Okay so back to my story.

I was in the store getting all my cupcakes for the next day or so.

I don’t know if any of you know JLO, Miami Glow, the perfume.

I happened upon this candle that TO ME SMELLS JUST LIKE THAT.

I fucking love it.

I just brought it outside to show Jenny and I’m now going to go help her in the garden but I smeared this SHIT all over the top of my left had. I just want to cover myself in whatever this is, it’s so good.

And normally I’m kind of a candle snob, and this is just some $5 no-name candle from the GROCERY store. And it’s one of THE BEST THINGS I HAVE EVER SMELLED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.

I’M GOING TO KEEP COVERING MYSELF WITH IT– it also rubs in like lotion, like one of those candles that are supposed to melt down into stuff you actually put on. But anyway, I don’t care I am OBSESSED WITH AND IN LOVE WITH THIS STUFF.

If I could fucking…. oh if ONLY I could send you the smell via the blog.

Anyway here are some pics cause I gotta run!!!!!!!

xoxoxo

Em

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s made by a company called Star Candle Co.

Anyway, this shit is OFF THE HIPPOPOTAMUS’ BACK!

COCONUTS MALIBU MIAMIIIIII

I went to the store to get cupcakes (I got three different kinds).

Alright fuck it THIS is the real song of the day.

Ima finish the story AFTER YOU LISTEN TO THIS SHIT! (“Ima let you finish…” Thanks ‘Ye.)

Cause I’m downloading this song right now to go out and garden with Jenny. (Jenny, not Jenny Lopez, but MY OWN PERSONAL JENNY FROM THE BLOCK MY NEIGHBOR!!!!)

Oh yeah so like. Also. Jennifer is pregnant in this video and how does she look so UNREAL!!!!!!!!! SHE JUST IS UNBELIEVABLE. SHE IS UNREAL DOWN TO HER VERY BOSOM!

AND BEYOND.

In Keeping With Theme

Of upper-echelon.

This is what I had for part of my breakfast. (The other half I hope is going to be pizza because I woke up just wanting Pizza Hut Pizza so bad.)

Oreos and salt.

They MUST be the kind with full frosting.

And they MUST be the kind with salt.

Vanilla is my fave. Anything other than original, basically, I will eat.

Peanut butter I liked but it needs a little more sugar I feel.

Mint is good.

Peeps I am more than willing to try.

Vanilla is a good go-to.

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You’d THINK I have a staff on hand to make these at all times, but you’d be surprised to find I am pretty handy with the salt. And with breaking Oreos in half.

Anyway, this is what I eat when I’m all out of cupcakes. And pizza.

(Desperate times….)

You Have To Appreciate This

A seven minute video complete with actors. For a home.

This is how they do things in… Bel-Air. (Which I just found out is in LA. I’m no geography whiz.) I still don’t know what the fuck Bel-Air is. Except for where Will Smith sometimes goes to see his fam.

I live for this shit.

No I’m not being sarcastic; I’m being real.

(I actually haven’t watched the whole film; I’m about to now. I like this fucking song!!!)

“massage studio/wellness spa”- Yes.

“85-foot glass tile infinity swimming pool, 40-seat 4K Dolby Atmos Theater, 4 lane bowling alley/lounge”- Yes.

“outdoor pop-up theater, 2 fully-stocked champagne/wine cellars, massive candy wall, the most advanced home tech system in the world”- OH HELLL TO THE MOTHAFUCKIN YESSS ON THE CANDY WALL. I SAW THAT SHIT AND IT ALMOST CONVINCED ME TO WANT TO BUY IT. And all that other shit’s cool too.

But for real I want that mother elfin wall of candy, foo!

“auto gallery w/cars worth more than $30mm, 7-person full time staff, over 100 curated art installations” okay, now this shit with me would never fly.

This is… over-curation.

(In my humble but always right opinion).

Firstly… the idea of seven people working for me ANY amount of time, just feels weird, but the fact that they COME WITH IT (???). I don’t even really know how to put into words, except I thought that kind of thing got abolished.

Second.

Wouldn’t you want to collect YOUR OWN auto gallery? Like, isn’t that the point?

“Worth $30M” awesome. That’s great. But wouldn’t you rather spend YOUR OWN $30M picking things out?

When it comes with it installed… I don’t know, for me, that’s taking away all the thrill of the chase.

I’m not doing these in order.

And same with art! Like. Dude.

I GET HAVING MONEY.

HAVE ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD. HAVE ALL THE MONEY THAT YOU WANT.

BUY A $250,000,000 HOME. THAT’S COOL!

AND LIKE, STAGE THE HOUSE ON THE MARKET.

DO THE HOUSE UP FOR SHOW. LEGIT. DO IT. PUT IN THE CARS AND THE ARTWORK TO SHOW PEOPLE LIKE, HOW THEY COULD DESIGN.

Now this is only for me– but this is literally all the money in the world aside– because money is great and I’m always in favor of that.

I’m just saying, it’s kind of amazing to me when you buy a house when ALL THE COLLECTING IS ALREADY DONE FOR YOU.

Like, the person who designed this mother fucking thing should just live in it, then! For real! It’s like, “Here is what I PERSONALLY LIKE. Here’s a house I’ve already essentially lived in and left all my shit, now you take it.”

Anyway. Whoever gets it, I think it’s cool.

I like the jets in the pool, the catamaran storage unit, the clean geometric lines, the grass on the roof, the surf movie they have playing in the bowling alley, candy ❤ swoon, the video playing behind the bar of the ocean (more surfing), the bubbles coming out of the girl’s nose (I’m not being sarcastic), I like the chairs in the pool, the helicopter on top of the roof, I LOVE whatever the fuck movie they keep having playing all over the home; if I could watch that outside by the pool, I would watch that all day, I like the real gator who’s paid to stand still on top of the grass roof, I like the second pool way up high, I like the fact that the house is nice enough to come with actors who will live in the home and show you around and show you how to live inside of your own home, and synchronistically swim (this is the secret to a good marriage), I DO think it’s cool that this house comes with James Franco. And penguins.

It looks cool at night.

Ultimately, I feel like this house is for someone who wants to save money by never having to go out.

You’ve got to give credit to anyone who wants to undertake that enormous home.

There’s a lot of aspects of it that I like. It’s genuinely too big for me, but I think that if you had a certain kind of lifestyle, then it would be an awesome party house and you could just have people over ALL THE TIME and host the best entertainment nights and it could be really incredibly cool.

I guess what I am saying is that I imagine anyone who actually has any level of creativity and taste probably wants to buy a home that isn’t fully pre-planned out.

(Don’t you at least want to hire your own staff?) I mean for me, that would be like, the last thing in the world I ever wanted to do but. I find the idea of having staff really fucking completely weird, but to each their own, truly.

But I for sure would want to go shopping for and pick out my own cars and go shopping for and pick out my own art.

It’s already enough for me when places come turn-key, and that’s just with the furniture.

But that is just me. And that is just my idea. I could be totally and completely wrong.

It’s a cool video, so check it out and see what you think. 🙂

**Any opinions expressed in this interview (with me, given to me by me) are solely my own, and do not reflect those of Hilton and Hyland, although they should, because my opinions are always correct and impeccably achieved through high level mental work, spiritual intuition, and scientific achievement of the finest degree.

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I love this shot.

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The fact that they have good enough taste to put surfing on this screen wins points with me.

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I love anything that visually does away with walls. And the orange and blues. Plus the metallic sheen and glass. Nice elements here.

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^^^^Need I say more?^^^^ (But I will.)

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YAAAAA wellness.

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I have a tactile fascination with velvet ropes.

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I ADORE this because of the water.

It’s funny after I just wrote a post on curation, then I write this one, and in this listing they use the word “curation” or “curated” like 5,000 times. The thing for me is, the people out there are fucking brilliant let me just say. I’m sure they have IMPECCABLE taste and I know they have IMPECCABLE talent and skill beyond measure. For me, I just don’t want my whole fucking house and life planned out already before I even move in. For me, the fun of a house is that you move in and it’s kind of EMPTY and you fill it with things from your life as you move along. That is all. But I think this is masterpiece of incredible vision, talent, execution, imagination and skill.

LIFE IS ONE BIG, CONSTANT CURATION

WE ARE CONTINUALLY CURATING AND CONTINUALLY CREATING.

NOTHING’S THAT SERIOUS! IT’S MEANT TO HAVE FUN!!!!!!!

Life is ultimately one big curation, one big edit. You’re always sketching over, sketching over, sketching over, and creating something incredibly new.

When I paint, it’s the layers underneath that make the final product so cool. I could not have just SKIPPED FORWARD to the final end; the final end is what I got from all the layers of work underneath.

Your life becomes what you focus upon, which means focus on THE BEST and the most fascinating and the coolest and the most YOU things that you can find. Set your standards really high. Set your standards sky high, for yourself.

Say, “I want this because THIS is the purest form of the representation of ME.” The higher you set your standards, the universe complies. The universe ALWAYS complies; it’s simply a matter of how HIGH you are setting your own STANDARDS of YOURSELF.

Eat the foods ONLY you love.

Listen to the music ONLY which soars in your heart.

Be with the person who you’d want to be with if you knew the world was going to end today.

Focus on the feeling and the image of the body that you truly desire to live in.

Let yourself live in your dream house.

Let yourself fulfill your dreams!

EVEN IF THERE’S ONLY ONE THING IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE THAT YOU CAN FEEL PURELY ABOUT, FOCUS ON THAT. IT WILL BRING EVERYTHING ELSE INTO FOCUS FOR YOU, TOO.

FOCUS ON THAT WHICH YOU CAN FEEL PURELY, POSITIVITY FOR.

FOCUS ON THAT WHICH FEELS PURELY LIKE IT’S COMING FROM OR RESONATING WITHIN YOU.

NO MATTER WHAT IT IS. DON’T JUDGE YOURSELF; JUST GO WITH THE FLOW.

People don’t become masters by taking everyone else into consideration. People become masters by taking only themselves.

The world wants you to be you. The universe wants you to be you.

It doesn’t matter what this person or that person thinks of you; I’m talking in terms of the UNIVERSE at LARGE. You will ALWAYS be backed by that. Know which side your bread is buttered on, and just ignore the rest.

ANYBODY ELSE’S PERSPECTIVE IS FLIES IN THE OINTMENT, UNLESS IT JIVES WITH YOU. LEAVE EVERYBODY ELSE OUT OF IT.

WHAT HAVE THEY GO TO DO WITH YOU BEING YOURSELF!?!?!?!?!!? 🙂 🙂 🙂

Nothing, and that’s why it’s great.

YOU BEING YOURSELF IS ONLY EVER YOUR OWN AND FULL RESPONSIBILITY. No matter what anyone else is doing, your only ever responsibility, is just for being you!

Your job is being yourself, IN RELATION AND IN RESPONSE to anything that occurs.

Your only responsibility, is to you. And your only responsibility, is to be yourself.

That’s their job (for them), and that’s your job (for you).

There you go. We solved it all. 🙂

There’s no responsibility for anything other than self, and the same applies to them. No responsibility, no guilt; everyone takes creative control of themselves.

What is this life, except an exercise in creativity?!?!?!

Our deepest desire, and our deepest need, in this life, is for complete creative control within ourselves.

THAT’S the relationship that we are looking for.

Everyone finds their own way to be happy and naturally gravitates to, or attracts into their experience, what it is. And it’s a constantly-changing-flux. Always evolving, ever-pure, representation of energetic response.

That’s it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nobody else is in charge of your fortune (any aspect of it) other than you. You’re the only person to impress, the only person you require permission and agreement from.

YOU ARE YOUR OWN BOSS. EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ELSE FOLLOWS.

Grant life the permission slip to give you what you desire and to be good to you.

It is ONLY ever your own limiting belief that keeps you from having the things that you most truly desire, and nothing ever else.

Let yourself dream.

There are people all over the world, mirroring back to you, illustrating to you, things that you wish to have. BLESS those people for the GIFT that they are giving. You are living in a  real-life catalogue.

Endless possibilities for expansion and change are ALWAYS being shown. JUST by their existence, people are always showing you new ways of thinking, being, and experiencing things. They are showing you examples of things that you desire, and things that you don’t.

You feel so much better, you feel so good, when you focus on those aspects of your life that bring you joy. Life is meant to be fun; life is meant to be joy. Life is meant to be a constant curation of the things that you love the most in your life. Life is meant to show YOU to YOU and every passing day with each new experience, you are gaining more and more clarity of bigger and greater dreams.

Nothing too big, nothing too small. Everything possible, with your focus and belief.

❤ It is my intention and desire that some of YOUR dreams come true today, tomorrow, and all of this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sending you LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Em

I’M A NERD FOR THIS TYPE OF SONG

Okay now.

I literally could not give less of a gem about D.C.

So just ignore the video.

However. This song.

THIS is the mo’ fuckin song of the day. I was just going to listen to FJM’s new album on YouTube and this commercial came on and I honestly find some of my all-time favorite music on commercials. So I tracked down this track and I really love it!!!!!!

Love!!

If anybody knows who this is, let me know! I couldn’t find song credits anywhere on here.

It’s so cool!!!!!!

So cover your eyes and pretend this song is playing over a real-estate video showing of a house in Beverly Hills. (That’s the only way that I can get by.)

But this SONG is really fucking cool!!!!!!!!!!

I love the song!!!!!!!!!!

I Don’t Mean To Brag But

(That’s me and a Muppet. ^^^)

I am a really good actor.

Like, really good.

I should just make an Acting category on my blog now but I won’t. I’ll save it for my Oscar pics.

Today I am going to show you how to method-act your way through coffee.

Drinking a cup of coffee, specifically.

Firstly, I am going to address with you, fashion.

If you want to be believable, you must be wearing some coffee-drinking garb, like so ^.

Leopard print pants in shades of blue show you are serious, yet somberly dedicated to the task. A Christmas mug in May shows you are never off duty and a literary “jumper” as some of you might say (I call it a sweatshirt, and when people call it a sweater it really throws me of my mental game), but I digress. A literary sweatshirt shows that you are smart.

Always.

That’s just what it means.

They check your MENSA before they will finish the sale.

(For me, MENSA stands for i-MENSA-talent-in-acting, but it’s likely not the same thing for you)

It’s days like today where I’m glad I’m taking a breather from Botox, because honestly, it prevents me from doing my job. My job is teaching acting to YOU. YOU are a dedicated student of my blog, because, on some level, you KNEW I was a world-famous actress, and you wanted to learn my skill. And even though I beat around the bush for the last four years, and never even said a word about it, like a constipated warrior, you knew. You knew your time was coming. You knew.

So listen. Look. My job isn’t to stand here and look pretty. (I’m actually sitting down.) My job is to teach you this glorious craft.

So without further ado, here it is in a nutshell.

THIS is how I won my Oscar back in ’77 for “Girl In A Coffee-Drinking Cafe”. (Directed by Martin Scorsese, you’ve probably seen it.)

As you can see, I have an ability to express a range of emotion that largely surpasses the human limit, and that is why I am a great. (That and I eat vanilla Oreo’s for breakfast with salt. They say it takes a village; Nabisco, here’s to you.)

There’s really nothing more to acting than that.

People will try to tell you it takes “talent” and it takes “skill”. No.

All it takes is a forehead with wrinkles, and the ability to not be totally, completely, and irrevocably pissed off that your coffee cup doesn’t ACTUALLY have any coffee.

All it takes is KNOWING THE RAINBOWIC SPECTRUM OF HUMAN EMOTIONS AND DEVOTING YOUR EVERY MOMENT OF THINKING BREATHING AND LIFE ON THIS PLANET, TO THEM.

ALL IT TAKES IT BECOMING THE CHARACTER SO FULLY, YOU DON’T EVEN REMEMBER THE NAME OF YOUR CATS.

IT’S A VERY CASUAL THING.

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Tools of the trade– You will be amazed to see that there was NOTHING IN THIS CUP.

That, ladies and gentlement (I just like adding the t) ^^^, is what a great actor can do.

People think it’s so easy and that we make hundreds of millions of dollars just for looking really incredibly good and traveling around the world and giving a couple of interviews. But the METHOD of acting; the ART of acting, is really about so much more.

If you want to be a mediocre actor, you’re going to have to have coffee in your cup.

If you want to be a GREAT one, you just don’t need it.

You’ve perfected the skill of your emotion, of your passion, of your own imagination. The world is simply a place in which you play. EVERYTHING BECOMES AN EXPRESSION OF THIS DEEPLY MAGICAL ART WHICH SHAKESPEARE CALLED, “THE-A-TRE” AND “A BEAST WITH TWO BACKS”.

Until you have reached that level, I suggest you leave it to the pro’s.

Otherwise, somebody may get hurt.

ACTING is not a talent, but a lifestylic-decision. It is not a decision, but a choice. It is not a choice, but a calling. It is not a calling, but a card. You get the picture.

Only a few are called and very few pick up the phone. And out of the few who pick up the phone, only fewer speak the language. And of the people who speak the language, only fewer speak the dialect.

I hope you understand.

I think I have made myself clear.

If you can’t act, get out of the kitchen.

(I am in the kitchen now, if you see the metaphor for that.)

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I always pee with my Oscar.

And I never wash my hands.

It prevents Oscar-theft (the hand washing is just something I added as an extra bit of security), which is a very common, very real thing.

When you win an Oscar, they give you an optional course-study, in which they recommend this practice. Apparently 98% of all Oscars are stolen while their parents are in the bathroom.

(The things you learn when you become a success!!!)

I’m Really Excited For Tomorrow

because there’s (there are) so many things I want to talk to you about and to share with you but it’s almost 11 and I really need to sleep before I am able to write anything else with any level of clarity but I just want to say, thank you for sharing this space with me; it is always appreciated and I appreciate you and I truly hope you have the most wonderful night’s sleep in a really warm, comfortable place, with people and/or animals that you love (even if that person is YOU, because that’s THE most important one 🙂 🙂 🙂 and when you’re your own best friend, you never go a day in your life without your best friend by your side!).

There are so many fun things I want to go on about tomorrow but until then,

SLEEP WELL PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, SLEEP WELL 🙂 ❤ MUAH!

Hugs to you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Also here is a picture of a cardinal on a lawn. ^^^

His name is Curtis Lee Swoopes.

I felt like it was the right time to introduce you to him and his fam. His wife, Jennifer Lee Swoopes (née Beauregardomfre— they have weird names; they’re birds), I will have to capture a candid photo with her another time. She is a very beautiful bird. Curtis has impeccable taste. (Im-peck-able).

Their wedding was in Florida last May.

AMG G65– Last Post!!!!!! (Of Today)

Okay I’m just going to do one more because this one has been on my mind all day. I referenced it earlier in a post and look I’m on the fence because I KIND of am into the idea of driving a car that is good for the environment.

However.

The color of this car has got me hooked.

So.

I’m not doing anything RASH and also I GENUINELY and LEGITIMATELY love my Prius. My Prius is amazing and awesome and is literally the best ever car.

Nice cars, I’m kind of neutral in some ways; I really appreciate them, but they aren’t high on my list of things that I really care about one way or the other, but I just love this car so much, mostly for the special range of colors they have. I also like the one called, Galacticbeam. (The second one I show here.)

I’m just saying. I think this car is REALLY COOL AND IT COMES IN THE COLOR CALLED ALIEN GREEN WHICH TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY HAS MY HEART.

COME ON IT’S SO COOL.

MERCEDES, DO THIS CAR IN A GREEN (NOT THE COLOR) VERSION. Because it’s REALLY so cool but like, I don’t think I could ever drive something that I just KNEW was THAT unhealthy for the Earth. Maybe something will happen that changes my mind one way or the other but I’d really like to see some kind of technology made mainstream where you can drive a car like this and it’s significantly less use of fuel or fuel emissions than I imagine it is today 🙂

So putting that one on the dream burner and while I’m at it, I’ll just leave you with this lovely picture here 🙂

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For me, it’s literally more about appreciating a car company that makes such cool and creative colors of their vehicles, than anything else. One of my all-time favorite concepts in existence is that of high/low, which is like where, you wear something from Walmart and something from Louis Vuitton, for example. Or how like my favorite restaurant is McDonald’s AND… I don’t really go out to eat that often or have really high preference because I honestly don’t care too much one way or the other about food (hence, McDonald’s) but probably the nicest one I’ve been to lately is Morton’s (as in, Morton Hears A Who… or, wait…). But anyway like, I just love the juxtaposition of things that are “really nice” and things that are “really basic”. I love things that are done well, and that always just depends on WHAT IT IS THEY ARE TRYING TO DO.

Old Navy flip flops are the fucking best at what they do. They’re functional, they’re like $3, they’re comfortable, they’re easy to wear, they come in every conceivable color. Like, they totally hit the mark. You don’t get a lot more for spending $100 on a comparable flip flop, because for the basic flip flop, they are (arguably, I’m just pulling this example out of thin air) the best.

McDonald’s isn’t TRYING to be high-end. They’re trying to be exactly what they are doing, which is why they are succeeding and why they are great. Same thing with Walmart, for example. And same thing with Louis Vuitton, Chanel, Burberry, etc. on the opposite end of the spectrum– they aren’t TRYING to be affordable or accessible to the usual crowd. They’re trying to create something to ATTAIN.

It’s all a matter of what your intention is, and whether or not you are hitting THAT mark, not any other. So anyway, my whole point of all of that being, that I love when a “serious” car company like Mercedes-Benz does these colors that are so creatively playful and cool. I love the juxtaposition of that SO much, and so more than anything here about anything else, that is really what made me fall in love with these cars and this idea.

One more of the funny things about this, too. Looking into the interior of these cars, I know I’m getting soft as I go through this life, but when I got my Prius, the first thing I asked for was if they had leather seats and I was told those were rare in a Prius, and I ended up just not getting them, and I’ve actually enjoyed not having them, although my last two cars had them, and I really enjoyed them, especially with having a dog.

That said, I’m not saying it’s right or it’s wrong. I’ve been a HUGE leather lover my whole life. I, out of anyone I have ever met, am VERY particular about my natural materials and fibers; they have a different energy and I really prefer natural materials to man-made things. (LAMINATE AND HARD WOOD FLOORING ARE NOT THE SAME THING AND YES I CAN TELL THE DIFFERENCE.) But for some reason I’m having this inclination to want to do things that are more peaceful-feeling to me, and that seemingly includes less leather.

It’s a change I never imagined myself to make– even in all the times in my life where I’ve gone vegan and vegetarian and this or that; giving up leather was something I never really thought I would do. And I’m not saying I would throw away anything I have or that I’d never buy a piece again, but I’m feeling this leaning toward like, less and less of an inclination toward wanting to go out of my way to own or obtain leather things.

So, I’m totally not making a moral judgment or assessment at all, whatsoever. I’m just finding myself being inspired my, for some reason, this kind of idea of like, “sustainable” materials and “recycled” things. And things I can feel good about, all the way through.

So I just noticed that kind of preference within myself when I was looking at these interiors and I thought that was an interesting change.

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(Sunsetbeam and Solarbeam, respectively)

I added some other of their special-edition type colors that I think you may enjoy, which are just really especially cool to me.

❤ xoxo

An Ode To Seltzer And Summer

Sometimes I drink beer because I am out of seltzer. Beer lasts a lot longer in my house than seltzer does. Beer can last for months and months and months and seltzer’s shelf life here is only a few days.

Actually last week my neighbor came over and I was outside on the porch and I told her I was drinking a beer because I was all out of seltzer… and she came back over with a freshly never-opened bottle of Polar Seltzer and told me to pour myself a glass, which I thought was just unbelievably sweet.

Except for the fact like, I thought about it later that, “What if I was actually just using that as an excuse to drink beer, and then she ruined my only excuse!?”

You have to be careful, don’t go offering seltzer water to strangers. You never know how much it may fuck up their actual plans!

Luckily, she knows me. So like, this story ended properly. This story ended well.

Anyway. Alternate endings aside.

In MY universe, it was a happy ending.

Alright I am getting ready for a shower and then an early bed. This weekend’s weather looks so incredibly insanely nice and I am so stoked because you know I am a nature nerd. So whenever the weather is outdoor weather I am just so in my element and so ahhhhhhh.

I love it when I feel ready for sleep and for bed around 9 or 10 o clock. That for me is so prime because I love actually early to bed and early to rise. I love being awake naturally at really early hours. Especially in summer, oh man, as long as it’s warm enough to be outside, wow. I LOVE early morning hours soooo much. Like 3 am, 4 am, 5 am, 6. Oh don’t even get me started. When it’s already like bathwater outside, it just makes me want to die. Literally. It feels like I already did. I can’t even explain.

Where I live, summertime is like heaven on earth. I say I love California, and I do, but summers here are like, unbelievable. I love the smell of freshly cut grass, when it’s so humid and warm that the smell practically LIVES WITHIN your nose.

It’s like the air has turned into essence of grass.

I love oh… just the warm summer mornings, even the hot summer mornings. I love the humidity and the heat. I love anything warm. I love the long days of sun and how it’s bright early in the day. I just love it so much. I love other places because they have warm all year round or at least warmer all year round, but if it was summer all year round here I’d never ever leave.

And I like the more temperate climates like, in winter. I love Miami weather in the winter. But in the summer, I don’t want it regulated at all by the ocean. I want it to be freaking hot as hell and humid and SHIT because I LIVE all year for it. You will NEVER EVER see me complain because I literally wait all year for this shit. It can get as hot as it wants and I will never complain.

I never even used to use the A/C although last summer, I did cave and put one in my room just so that I could actually sleep. I used to have this thing where I’d say, “Yeah well, it was 100 degrees and muggy last night so I feel hungover as shit but so does everyone else.” And my friend who I lived with at the time was like, “Uh, dude, they have A/C. They’re sleeping just fine.” And I was like holy fucking shit I thought we were all in this thing together, dude!!!!

So yeah, I mean. Not everyone is as hard core as me. There was one day last summer where my parents were out of town (they have central A/C) and I hadn’t installed mine yet (this was the day that led me to it). And they only live about two or three or four (I’m SO bad with mileage I have no fucking idea) miles away but I had all I could do; I was SO strung out I wasn’t even sure I could make it to their house (driving, mind you) because it was like, I was so dead from not sleeping because of the heat. I literally felt myself wilting like a flower.

(A flower that’s wilting, not a fresh, healthy one.)

But I made it there, I finally made it.

And then, once I was finally like, passed out on the couch, ready to sleep… THAT WAS WHEN MY DOG WANTED TO PLAY.

NOW THAT HE WAS IN THE COOL AIR, HE SUDDENLY HAD ENERGY AND HE WANTED TO PLAY AND MAKE UP FOR THE LAST SEVERAL DAYS OF NOT A LOT OF MOVEMENT FROM NEARLY UNBEARABLE HEAT. IN FACT, HE WANTED TO FIT IT ALLLLLLL INTO THIS SINGULAR PLAY SESSION WHICH WAS TAKING PLACE IN MY MAKESHIFT BEDROOM. (THE COUCH).

I love my dog. I love the heat. I love Jesus.

(Two out of three ain’t bad.)

Alright alright I’m going to sleep.

By the way, stay on the lookout tomorrow for my recipe for grilled cheese dipped in hot sauce. You wouldn’t believe how you to it. People think it’s such a “sophisticated dish” and it’s actually SO easy to make in the comfort of your VERY own home, even with what minimal preparation tools you probably have. It is NOT over your head, trust me. I have taught this recipe to millions of people and they are all SUCCESSFULLY making them, too.

I LOVE SELTZER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sleep tight and sweet dreams from me to you! ❤ ❤ ❤

Dream of WONDERFUL things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YOU CAN DO IT! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Think of happy things as you are falling asleep 🙂 It works!!!!!!!!!

And think of happy things the moment you wake!!!!!!

It also works!!!!!!!

All the love all the love all the love

TILL THE MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Em

HANSON!!!!!!! “I Was Born”

Alright I heard this song a few weeks ago and I will be totallllllly honest with you I wasn’t into it at all. BUT

This is one of those crazy things where I actually ended up loving the song BECAUSE of the video. The video changed it all, completely for me. I’ve followed Taylor Hanson and his family a little bit, and they kind of had me going through a phase where I thought five kids looked like the normal number, like the normal amount. (I’m still on the fence about that.) But anyway, so I knew of his kids, but the other ones were relatively new to me, and anyway, they are ALL so beautiful and lovely and it TOTALLY made me cry at one point in the video (I won’t tell you which; I want you to have your own conclusions). (It MIGHT have to do around 2:37)

But anyway yeah, I love this song now and I think this video is one of THE coolest, most unique and well-made videos I have seen in a very long time and I just really appreciate this song now in a whole new light. I loved every second of it.

Love love love.

These kids are EVERYTHING. ❤ ❤ ❤ Wow. So incredibly beautiful and cute. I felt emotional and they weren’t even mine!!! I literally got chills watching this!

They are so cute and so sweet it makes me want to DIEEEEEEEE.

Hope you enjoy it as much as me 🙂 🙂 🙂

WE WENT BALLOON SHOPPING

And I got this hat! And I got pants! Leopard print pants!!!!

But MOSTLY I got to do a photoshoot with my dog BECAUSE HE WAS STUCK INSIDE MY CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somehow all of my things followed a certain color scheme. The last picture I took to send to my sister to make up for some biologically-correct pics I “accidentally” sent her at work (I don’t know her work schedule!!!). Highly advanced scientific studies conducted by me have shown that bright colors distract from past pain and suffering (which is why I always keep some on hand, just in case).

This was me having a Gloria Estefan dance party in my new leopard print pants. ^^^

Thank goodness I finally figured out how to use the damn timer.

If You Are Living This Life

Your job is

FINDING YOUR PASSION

SPREADING YOUR JOY

HAVING FUN

THAT’S IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best thing I ever saw at someone’s house framed, was this thing that said,

“Know what you like

Trust your instincts

And live”

That’s really all it comes down to.

And this.

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In this photo he is begging for corn (his all-time favorite food), so this ^ is actually an illustration of somebody who is simultaneously doing all three.

I’m Going Out To Jump On The Trampoline*

*Update: I didn’t really jump on the trampoline.

So I found this song…. a month ago, to be exact.

I have to be honest with you (well, I don’t, but I will– I could also method-act my way through and pretend I never cried at all) I cried when I saw this video. It totally just like… Something in it, it like released something in me. These guys are TOO SWEET.

They make marriage look like it can actually be fun. Plus their baby Willa is so cute. Like, so incredibly cute.

Their family totally kills me in all the good ways. I LOVE this song; I couldn’t stop listening to this song for DAYS. My neighbors probably wanted to KILL me. But it was so fucking good I didn’t even care. I just couldn’t stop!!!!

*Hannah Hooper– sounds like a Sesame Street character. That’s sick.

(I don’t wanna tell you what to do, but I am telling you what to do. If you go on her Instagram and see pictures of her baby and also her and Christian, you might start crying, too. My eyes are welling up and I’m like two pictures in. But…… It’s probably the onions in the grocery store a mile away.)

Plus like, dude… if you’re checking out her Instagram, their house is really sick. Like, really sick. I love that picture of the naked baby with the stroller in the bathroom. They have GOOD TASTE. Also, that baby who is always pushing her stroller, don’t even get me started. Don’t even. Get me. Going.

And now I’m feeling that way again (I’m jumping around here, but what I’m referring to here is that I’m feeling like my neighbors are once, more, going to petition to kill me because this song is about to be on PLAY for the next rest of the day). I think this video is so cool and I LOVE the fact that they are married and have a family and are in a band together and I love this band; this band has been one of my favorites for YEARS. They are ONE OF THE BEST at happy, fun, feel-good music that you can go crazy to.

Plus, Elle Fanning.

These guys are SO FUCKING GOOD. So do yourself a favor and listen to them because you can’t NOT be in a good mood when listening to this and I’m telling you, H and C will make your heart sing for how adorably cute they are together.

OKAY LOVE LOVE BYE!

Everything about her Instagram. I am obsessed with this. Literally. Everything.

https://www.instagram.com/ladygrouplove/?hl=en

I had Robert Frost poem playing in my head in the shower last night and freaking what the fuck do you know, she captioned something from Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening… And Bukowski.

Ya. Okay, Hannah Hooper. Keep living in my head and using all my dreams. You FREAKING GODDESS YOU.

But seriously, though… everything about everything on here is great. TOO MUCH COOLNESS TOO MUCH LOVE.

I WANT A BABY AND A FAMILY LIKE THAT, STAT.

FOR THE RECORD. ON THE RECORD.

GO.

PS

IF YOU LOVE THEM here’s an interview of this.

http://www.qromag.com/interviews/hannah-hooper-christian-zucconi-of-grouplove/

(It was a really cool article but I’d be lying if I said I made it through the whole thing. That’s my reading for the day!!! And the fact that I’m wearing this Great Gatsby sweatshirt, which, basically, always get me by.)

Sometimes I get a little bit carried away with CAPS LOCK but it’s ultimately, all for the best.

Oh shit I also have to go buy some balloons.

BALLOON SHOPPING DAY!!!!!!!

Blue Is Getting On The Bandwagon, Too

I was eating this carrot and he came over and sniffed it out of my hand, so I gave it to him and he carried it into this room. I didn’t think he’d actually eat it– let alone the WHOLE ENTIRE THING! I feed him carrots every morning with his breakfast, but it’s usually smothered in coconut oil. This really surprised me about him. Usually he only eats carrots pureed (unless they are baby ones). LOLOLOL

This dog is my love; he’s the most wonderful gift, the most wonderful thing in the world. If you ever wonder if there is a god, just look at your animal, look at your pet. They are an expression of the truth of what we all are! Amazing. So much love. This guy has totally changed my life just by being himself and being in it.

Not a day goes by that I don’t feel appreciation for the fact that I get to share my life with him. It’s an HONOR to do. I really feel like, how’d I get so lucky? He’s just the best, I feel like living with animals is so humbling when you realize this is a gift that we are given to be able to live alongside and share our lives with them, it’s something that to me goes so deep, it’s a daily blessing and gift and something that I’m always aware of my part in and I feel like I am absolutely the winning one out of this.

They come here to share their energy and love with us, and all we do is feed them and offer them some room within our home. They are the most incredibly amazing gifts in the world. So incredibly blessed.

Enjoy your pets today, give them all a hug, whether they are turtles, spiders, birds, snakes, cats, puppies, guinea pigs, hamsters, horse, rats, ferrets or fish. Just enjoy them all because they are so good and we are so blessed to be living among them!!!!

Even when they steal our “plant-based” food.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.

There goes my trying to eat healthy. Clearly, it is not meant to be.

If your dog steals your carrot, just consider it a sign to go and eat cake.

THE LORD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉 😉

 

This Is Really Cool: Gisele

Gisele

The end of this, especially is what I really love.

She continues to inspire me and I always love her spirit. Whether or not you agree withe her, she is SO fully herself and I appreciate that so much. She knows who she is and she’s got a lot of shit figured out!

Brilliant. Adore.

Not even about being a model, or anything to do with how you look. The thing I love about Gisele is that if you listen to her in interviews, she says things that ANYONE in any area of life, can learn from. She has a wisdom and an understanding of the way that energy and the universe works, and her results from following that format are absolutely undeniable and that is why I think she’s amazing. She is so open in explaining herself and how she has achieved her success and I think that is amazingly brilliant for anyone who’s wanting to kind of emulate what she has achieved in their own personal areas of interest in their lives.

“If your husband doesn’t love you, who will, right?” HAHA

“I mean, what kind of representation is that?!”

How she was talking about her dog Vida is what made me post this one here.

“Now guys, dis is… smack something… football language.” HAHAHAHA

Her spirit and her accent and she just… brilliance.

So I hope you enjoy this like I have and continue to do 🙂 🙂 🙂

❤ ALL THE LOVE

Em

Okay So Basically The Coolest Thing Happened

My commercial on YouTube was JUST IN SPANISH!!!!!!! (And it was actually funny. It was like, conceptually, really good.)

I’m going to be so Spanish it hurts.

EVEN YOUTUBE AGREES WITH ME THAT I’M NOW WHATEVER GLORIA ESTEFAN IS!!!!!!!

THE UNIVERSE REALLY DOES WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DREAM BIG BECAUSE YOUR DREAMS REALLY CAN COME TRUE. EVEN IN THE COURSE OF A MORNING.

Whatever Here’s ANOTHER One

(Blue’s request)

I remember watching this video on MTV as a kid. I THOUGHT IT WAS SO FREAKING COOL. I DON’T EVEN KNOW FOR SURE IF I KNEW THAT THING WAS A MICROPHONE.

I’M PROUD TO SAY TODAY THAT NOW I DO.

I CAN’T GET ENOUGH OF HER. SHE’S SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHERE HAS SHE BEEN ALL MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’M LATIN I SWEAR.

I was adopted. These aren’t my real parents and these aren’t my real roots.

TURN IT UP TURN IT UP TURN IT UPSIDEDOWNNNNNN
(I’m a little bit of a better singer than her but other than that, she’s good.)

I think this is Blue’s new favorite song.

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WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SONG OF THE MOTHA FUCKIN DAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOO

I LOOOVE THIS SONG I HAVEN’T HEARD IT IN FOREVERRRRRRRRRR

YOU’RE GONNA LOVE IT TOO

PLUS THE VIDEO IS LIKE

EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED, NEEDED, AND NEVER KNEW YOU DID!

THOSE STIRRUPS THINGS… ?!?!?!

DEAD.

I freaking LOVE Miami.

I’m turning Cuban. How do you convert?

Wow so… Just realized because of a COMMENT on YouTube that these aren’t all her…

Or like, maybe NONE of them are.

Ya. Alright.

Observant.

Simple Joys Of Showering And Sew

Okay today I was somehow busy today for no reason but like, literally, I was (as in, I have no idea HOW OR WHAT EXACTLY I WAS DOING BUT IT WAS BACK TO BACK AND START TO FINISH ALL THE WAY THROUGH, ALL IN GOOD WAYS) and YOU KNOW I WAS BUSY BECAUSE I DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TIME TO GO ON PEREZ.

(***I just had to catch up a couple of hours ago, and he did this video on YouTube that for so many reasons blew me away and I don’t think I have the wherewithal to explain them to you now, but words can’t express my love for him, and appreciation in seeing him grow, and this last thing he just did– and I don’t see them all, I don’t watch them all, I don’t follow all of this things, but the one he just did REALLY blew me away on so many levels and for so many reasons specific to me, and anyway, I’m just really proud of him, and to have witnessed his evolution heretofore as a fellow human being.

He’s an AWESOME father, an amazing business man, I have full faith in him as a successfully credible actor, and anything he dreams, because he’s a REALLY POWERFUL MAN and he’s a really freaking cool and open-hearted, open-minded person and I have personally seen him grow– through his freaking CELEBRITY WEBSITE BLOG, like that’s not the most ironic place of all things– an unbelievable amount in the last ten years, and I think it’s absolutely the most wonderful thing. He for me feels like a real friend; his website is THE only website I still go on that I did ten years ago; I basically have never had any kind of web loyalty to anyone or anything, except him. No idea why; there’s just something about him and about it that I find really cool.

I still have different perspectives from him on things, naturally. I just love witnessing him being a person as only he is; and the way he raises his children, and speaks to them in Spanish, the relationship he has with his mom and how FREAKING HILARIOUS she is, and they are, and his dog. Just everything about him, I think is great. The other day in the shower, must have been yesterday, because I just recently started seeing some of his things on Instagram and anyway, just the little bit that I know of him, the way he’s a dad, a son, a blogger, he goes to the gym, he does his podcast, he does his interviews on TV here and there, I was just seeing all these things he does– he takes ACTING classes, like, how does he have time to breathe! I am absolutely blown away.

I was saying to myself, “He has got to be THE busiest person on earth,” and then in this video that I just so HAPPENED to watch– because let me make this clear; I don’t read everything on his site; a lot of it I scroll through. I don’t listen to every podcast, I’ve listened to maybe five total CLIPS; I’ve never heard a full one. I don’t keep up with him religiously, but I do visit his site usually at least once a day, just to keep myself perked on different things for fun. My point of all this being, in this 13 minute video, which I watched the whole thing, he said something about how he is THE busiest person he has ever known, and he was basically SAYING OUT LOUD the things I was saying in my head to myself ABOUT him, the night before. Also, he was saying how he dances with his kids to Gloria Estefan channel on Apple Music. I WOKE UP with Gloria Estefan song (and made it song of the day yesterday) in my head. YESTERDAY. I HAVEN’T HEARD OF HER OR EVEN SAID HER NAME IN YEARS.

Now that I think of it, there were SO many other things in the video that he said, that resonated with me and felt like they were… It’s just kind of what I’m getting used to, on one level, and still there are times when things line up and shit happens and I’m literally like, “WHAT THE FUCK UNIVERSE THAT SHIT IS SO COOL; HOW YOU DO THAT, UNIVERSE! HOW YOU DO THAT, FOO!!!”)

There are other things, too, but those were two rather succinct points I was wanting to make. Or not even make, but illustrate. It just really blew me away when he said that. But I also have those things happen to me all day, every day, so in a WAY I’m getting used to them, and in a way you NEVER do, and you NEVER even want to, because they are so meaningful and so fun, and as he was talking about in his video, (this was a video unlike anything I had EVER heard him say before, ever, and it sounded like something which was coming directly from me) they let you know you are on the right trail.*** This was all added LAST. Now onto the rest of the post, which was written hours earlier.)

And now I just noticed that I think I can now go get water at the park, so this post is going to have to wait a bit more…

Okay three hours later (literally)…

I got water, hung out with my neighbors, got beer (for a friend– truth), cupcakes, french fries (all the major necessities in case of getting snowed in by AWESOME WEATHER like 90 degrees that are so fucking nice you never want to step foot inside of a store during the daytime again… That didn’t make sense but I’ve been awake for like, basically all day, so I give myself leeway when I should), did some other things, oh yeah, posted here. Okay. Still have to sew the button back on my dress that popped off during dinner.

Usually it’s my mouth (popping off), so a mere innocent button is a step up, I’d say. Really needing to brush my teeth as well. I’m SO happy the springs are back on! It’s amazing, too because the park has a website, and… well I won’t go into detail (not because I’m being mysterious but literally because it’s just like entirely completely pointless to explain) and the website basically TOLD me when the water was back on; I think I must have been one of the first people to know because I had it pulled up on my phone and randomly looked and it’s been off for days, maybe a week.

Anyway.

So I got spring water, which if you’re a nerd like me, is really really cool cause I’m like a water addict/connoisseur and now that I’m into spring water, it’s kind of hard to go back to tap. But I do what is required because I’m basically Pocahontas in disguise (now that I thought of her once today, it’s not going away).

I don’t know what the point of this writing was at all except…

Let me drink some water and put on chapstick and I’m sure I will recall.

And wipe myself after my pee 🙂

That’s probably first seeing as I’ve been sitting here writing and I have a feeling it’s just humid enough out where drip-dry won’t work. If you’re wearing cotton shorts, you can sometimes get away with it, but I’m not. I’m wearing the work of the devil; aka a dress.

Only joking; actually I’ve kept it on for like almost six hours now and it’s actually pretty comfortable.

Right now I’m sewing the button back onto the dress while it’s still on me. I feel like that’s a new party trick I just learned/made up.

From Little House On The Prairie.

But who’s judging.

Yeah, um. It’s harder than I thought. Never mind.

Not worth the glory or the fame. Or the paparazzi screaming my name outside of everywhere I go.

I’M JUST A PERSON, PEOPLE. EVEN IF I CAN SEW BUTTONS ON MY CLOTHES WHILE STILL WEARING IT. I AM NOT A ZOO.

Alright. Now that the button is fixed, I feel this dress is a little run-of-the-mill, now that it no longer looks like I’m still using it to breastfeed my dog.

Only kidding; I never did that. I gave him formula.

Alright I’m going into the shower because showers are AWESOME and showers are GREAT. And sometimes I forget that showers await for me at the end of the day, like a magical pot of gold and it really makes me excited when I remember that they exist. So I am off to happy places AND I HOPE THAT YOU ARE TOO.

❤ ❤ ❤ BADABING BADABOO

 

 

 

More Beauty And Incredible Things

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Blue visiting at the neighbor’s in his chair.

I love you guys. Thank you ❤ So much love. Life is really amazing and I feel like the luckiest person in the world right now. So incredibly blessed. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Love love love.