I Have An Affinity With Spiders

Spiders don’t colonize your home. I made friends with a spider in my shower last night. I sometimes help flies off their back and lady bugs to safety from the toothpaste splattering on them when they’re in my sink.

I’m having trouble in old age because I’m getting softer and even when I want to eat meat, it’s harder for me to. I don’t like to kill living things. I’m not saying it’s wrong; I’m not making moral judgment in any way, I’m just kind of realizing that for me, even as someone who said I could give up meat way before I could give up leather, I’m feeling differently about things and I’m feeling more drawn to designers and ideas, like Stella McCartney’s designs, for example, and things that are “green” and things that are sustainable and all that other bullshit jargon I sometimes brushed aside years ago.

I still love chemicals and I still love Comet cleaner. Until I’m given a cleaner that works equally well, I’m still married to Comet for life. (It’s UNREAL.) I want to make a Comet shrine in my home and light Comet candles and… It’s just that good. If you’ve ever seen that SHIT in my tub from painting and not wearing shoes, and the way Comet cuts through it, it’s unbelievable. Now that’s a product.

I’d wear a Comet tee shirt.

I used to love leather so incredibly much and I’m mayyyyybe turning the corner on that.

It’s not a trendy thing, I couldn’t care about that. I think that when anything is ever presented to me in the form of any kind of trend, I ignore it at first. So it can’t be that, or jumping on a bandwagon. It has to be something that’s growing organically inside of me. Kind of like how we are all always evolving, and it’s amazing, it’s like there are these seeds inside of us that we are completely unaware of, until they start to bloom. It’s like we are always this ever-changing amalgamation of endlessly eternal possibilities and I feel like almost every day, I don’t know where I am going or what is going to happen and I’m a different person each day and it’s becoming kind of a surprise to me each day, who I’m going to be and what I’m going to think or do or say.

I feel like, if my dog were in front of me and I was starving on an island, I would definitely die of starvation before I’d ever be able to kill and eat him, so for me, that’s kind of becoming a little bit of a guiding light in terms of how much I really want to or not, eat meat.

That said, I don’t really care about saying, “I’m this” or “I’m that” either way. At all. It’s just how I feel in the moment, it’s not declaring it to the world.

Ironically as I write this on my blog.

But no, it’s just a slow inclination and I don’t have any attachment toward the “outcome”, which, there never is.

That said.

There’s ants all over my kitchen and when I see ants outside, I like to let them live.

I’m a little amazed that they continually build their castles on a driveway that I skateboard, kids and my dog are continually on, and a million other things, but that’s their business.


When they are in my kitchen, the only thing I don’t like about that is one, there’s so many of them. Spiders are lone rangers, and that I appreciate.

Two. They draw your attention to how filthy you are. My stove top hasn’t been cleaned in months, and for the amount of cooking I do, you wouldn’t think that’d be a deal.

I have been trying to be green with getting rid of these ants, mostly for my dog. He’s always licking around the floor and I’d let him smoke cigarettes and drink beer but I know where to draw the line. (He literally like, slurps around on the floors.)

So I was trying to be green and using this white miracle powder called Diatomaceous Earth, which is actually really cool, and this is the food-grade kind, which I feed my dog daily. Some people take it daily, too, but I’m not that overly concerned with my health. Whatsoever. At all.

So. I was using that and my house looks like a powdered donut dump (which, I will add to my vision board (I don’t really have a vision board) because that would be pretty cool). And it IS working except today the ants discovered the wonder that is my rarely-ever-cleaned-stove. And so I took a more drastic action and used some of this stuff I found under the sink which is HIGHLY toxic, and also probably HIGHLY flammable, and, this is where I realized I’d hit rock bottom, because instead of CLEANING the dried spaghetti and shit off of the top of the stove, I just left it all there and sprayed the shit out of it with this mist.

(When you start MAKING me do housework, that is where I draw the line.)


That’s my story for today. Saving chipmunks one day, killing ants the next.

All in a day’s (two days) work for the Wonder Woman that is me.




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