If You Like Real Estate, Like Me

If you’re that kind of nerd, you might want to check out Doug Burdge. He’s one of my favorites, and in all my shopping around Malibu, he’s the only name that has consistently come up. I really like his design and actually, it’s pretty eclectic across the board.

Plus I just tend to like people named Doug.


(As you may instantly see, he and I have the same webpage designer.)

Someone can do the Rick Astley dance for me in the Harvester French.

Actually that’s not the one I love.

There is one on here that has my heart, and, if anything, it’s mostly for the yard, which Doug Burdge probably designed (he does trees), and it’s the one in which I want to live, at least part-time of the year, but I’m not going to tell you which one just yet!

[We are going to string this out like one of my mom’s thirty-year long soap operas until everyone has slept with their entire family, and married each of them, too.]

Until the music video is filmed…

With Gary Gold.

Karma Lizard, remember? Keep up!

By the way, I used the word “eclectic” while writing here, before I’d even finished scrolling through this site but as I was browsing (I’ve scrolled through it before, but not in several weeks), I saw that word pop out to me, so. Apparently, he is!

By the way.

I LOVE white.

Somebody’s going to dance the Rick Astley dance to me in white.


If you’ve ever had a dog, or your period (and laughed), or eaten a piece of pizza, you understand that white upholstery on furniture, let alone all over your entire freaking goddamn home, just cannot exist.

A lot of these homes, maybe all of them, I keep hearing them say, “Oh it’s turn-key.”


In the one I like, I’ve seen two different versions of furniture staged in the home; one is a more purplish design and the other is straight white. All white everything. Throughout.

I’m just saying, I love the home, but you have to change out the color for me because it’s going to be dirt and red and beige within a week.


I come in from painting for five minutes, and my hands look like Mystique. And I slowly notice over the course of the weeks, that the whitely-painted woodwork in my house is turned blue.

And that’s without even having kids.

Or Oprah, and her red wine.

(Does she drink red wine? I don’t know.)

(But if she does, and she comes over, she is always allowed to spill.)

So, anything but white.


I feel like if you’re enjoying a house in Malibu, the whole point is to relax, not to be cleaning up spills that Oprah belligerently made in your home.


I say this only to offer some comfort and relief to people who believe they have problems. I hope that this post has put your life into perspective, and not to throw Oprah under the bus for her drinking and spilling in Malibu homes. (Namely, mine.)

I can use a code name for her from now on.

Otherwise she’ll probably never come to visit me again.

And you know she reads this blog.


From now on I’ll just refer to her as “O”.

I should have titled this post, “Oprah: This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things– I MEAN ‘O'”. But, hindsight is 20/20 and I refuse to lead one moment of my life in regret.

Or a whitely-upholstered home.

But I digress.


Check out Douggie’s Instagram

My lovely future home is somewhere on this page 😉 😉 😉


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