Actually It Was Fettuccine

All these blankets were knitted for him.

And I just did some digging into ancestry.com and I found that Ricky Martin is ACTUALLY my biological fairy godmother.

So I will be celebrating that today.

One small, usual, regular, normal step for me, one large, vast, amazing step for mankind.

I came out of the bathroom and he was sitting like this. WHY. WHY. NO WORDS. ONLY WHY. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HIM, SHORT OF MELTING HIM DOWN AND PUTTING HIM INTO A SYRINGE IN MY NEAREST VEIN. IT’S IMPOSSIBLE JUST STOP. WHOEVER MADE HIM NEVER WANTED ME TO GET ANYTHING DONE EVER.

If everyone else born in 2013 is shit, that’s because all the goodness was used up on him. (I’m not saying they are, I’m just imagining it’s a very real possibility.)

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