Oh yeah so in re-reading the last thing I never finished my story.
About… in the part about how I said I would go to the group and method-act being sad.
Well, I wasn’t sad, but I WAS EMO. I was emo about how earlier that day, I had started cooking pasta, but then started eating bread at the same time, so by the time it came ready to put the pasta in the water, I wasn’t even hungry and was forced to boil it anyway. That was really bad.
No actually the real thing was that I was joking all week with my two girlfriends about how I was going to method-act my way through this class and it would be so fun. Well, it came around to me to say my thing and I started talking about how, well, firstly let me say how everyone in the group, most of them were from this yoga teaching class that had just finished, and a lot of them were saying, the sort of theme, you could say, was how it was hard for them to go back into the “real world” because other “regular” people just didn’t understand.
Now, I’m not in any way meaning this to take away from their experience; it’s totally valid, and I remember feeling that way, too. I still do! Just not with yoga, with the craziness of my mind and my imagination and my understanding of things and the dream world that I have. So I get it. But at the same time, I have experienced that your state of being really IS reflected all around you. I would say, the time I dropped the story that other people are more or less spiritual than me, or understanding of life, based upon certain criteria like knowing yoga or meditating or reading a certain kind of a book, is the time when my life REALLY opened up. Because to me, the whole point of anything isn’t really to cut yourself off from the world– even when it seems like that’s what I do, and in some ways, I do do that, and in some ways, you have to, in order to create something OTHER than what ALREADY exists, in other words, to create something new. And on the other hand, to me, the point of anything, is ultimately, to share it with the world. To open yourself up EVEN more than you had been before.
The final game, so to speak, although there isn’t one, is to relate MORE to people, connect MORE to people, regardless of background or religious sect.
And I can firmly say to you I have no religion at all. My only religion is to myself.
But anyway, so the whole focus of the group tended to tide around that, and basically, my point was that, I’ve found that there is that spark of goodness and perfection and loveliness in every single person that you meet. And I went on to say how in the library earlier that day, I had met two or three seemingly random people, who totally illustrated to me that point. I had really fun conversations and really meaningful ones, with these people I supposedly didn’t know. But they picked up on my energy, and that’s what was there, and what was in me, met what was in them. You don’t have to have any sense of knowing someone else, or even knowing anything about them at all, in order for you to connect, and get exactly what you wanted from the communication.
The only point I really mean to make is, because I had PMS I was SO emotional, and I was so appreciating the interactions with these older people that I’d had, and in trying to describe them to the group, all I could do was cry and cry and cry and cry. And I am someone who, when I’m happy, I cry. When I’m feeling really good, or really open, I cry. For me, crying is always a really nice thing. So anyway, I was totally like, emoting over these angelic people I had met, and saying how angels are all around us, and you don’t have to worry about whether they’ve taken yoga or not, and I was so OVERCOME with emotion, that I was sob, sob, sobbing over this thing. And my friends were like, “Whoa, she said she was going to be acting, but this is even a little much.”
And they didn’t tell me until after the fact that they weren’t sure whether I was being real or not, which firstly made me LITERALLY laugh out loud, at the fact that they thought I would commit THAT much to acting in a group which wasn’t even about it. And second, that it was THAT convincingly over-the-top that they thought I MUST be acting; because there was no possible way I was really crying that hard about meeting some old people in the library.
SO anyway, that was my original story line and then I got segued.
But yeah, I’m a great actor, too. I’m going on like, my fifth Academy Award or something this year. It’s CRAZE.