Because he’s ASLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KEEP IT ON THE SPECIAL BLANKET!!!!!!!!!! THE SPECIAL BLANKET FOR BUTTHOLES.
Okay so I counted and I actually maybe did send exactly fifty messages since her last one… So maybe everybody else just didn’t hit send on THEIR fifty.
THIS IS MY CAHRHEAAR!
(Click the link to watch this directly on YouTube) 🙂
GAD! ITS A MOTAH CAH
(Click the thing that says to watch it directly on YouTube 🙂 🙂 )
My all time favorite character in life.
“Well this one’s a HANDSOME statue!”
A sailboat, for the rubber duckie to play with!
Brad, do you like swans?
I LOVE BERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ❤ And Ernie and Bert!!! And Count!!!!!
you realize cutting the superfluous strings on your decade-old bathrobe that continue falling into the toilet while you pee, is a legitimate solution.
I will now not have to throw it in the wash or pretend I didn’t see that for the next ten years of my life. 🙂
THAT’S MY TEN YEAR PLAN.
By the way, I did pee on a penny tonight by accident so I think that that is especially lucky. Yes I brought it home.
I’m METHOD-ACTING knowing the words.
I’m the Pacino of Ellie Goulding lyrics.
I’m a sexy hot kitchen dancer, dammit!
If I had a dollar for every good dance move I did…
Wait a minute………..
this one is so freaking cute
this is my favorite part of Perez… his family home videos with his kids (and his mom)!!!!!
The sparkly bow tie pasta. Don’t even get me started.
It helps that she has the same first name…
The thing is, that thing moves with his hair in the rain. It’s really worth a “loreal” search in GIFs. It’s pretty worthwhile.
We’ll show you our fishing stuff when we come home from catching some whales to put in our backyard canal as best friends forever. ❤ Wish me luck.
It was unexpected!!! Well I mean, I’m always expecting a shit ton of money to come to me. But this one I didn’t know was coming. So that’s always cool.
And cut my shorts so that they are so comfortable– with my fishing scissors my dad gave me. I’ll have to show you my tackle box and fishing things he got me later.
One of my favorite feelings in the WORLD is taking a sharp pair of scissors through some denim cloth. FUCKKKKKK yeah. It’s like a cigarette, if I could smoke. Like if I was able to enjoy smoking, I think that’s what it would be like.
I’m really proud of my fishing things so I really will show you later. They are some of my favorite things I have ever received.
his bone-suctioning-sounds lulled millions of people all over the globe last evening, to sleep. And back by popular demand, are a two-part series of videos from the much-anticipated series, “EATING KETTLE POPCORN IN BED”, starring my one and only dog, Blue.
It’s a trending world-wide phenomena, called, BL-ASMR.
In contrast to the high-quality audio-only entry of last night, today consists of two VISUAL MOVEMENTS INCLUDED WITH SOUNDS.
Please feast yourself visually AND aurally, on the masterpiece that is Blue.
The first one is a video I took of him eating popcorn, which is focused upon the drool spot I noticed had formed on his leg (from watching me eat popcorn, too).
In trying to make this the most ULTIMATELY relaxing experience, I also included a little musical piece from JAWS.
his all-time favorite food is corn. corn in any format.
he is an equal-opportunity en-corner.
She knows him too well.
although my mom once famously said to my dad, “It’s really coming out down there.”
MEANING to comment on the rain…
Also my mom insists on calling Jenny “Jennie” in all of her texts.
last night and… Maybe I’ll tell you about it later? It was a little crazy in a really good way… As my friends always make fun of me for, yes it did have to do with a celebrity. (I’m rolling my eyes at myself. But it was worth it.)
Also I wear the same thing a million times in a row so this is actually me today too….. Blue and Cheshire cat. He is always right next to me when I am on here. (Or he’s out in the yard). He’s always sometimes right next to me. Alright wheewwww crazy dream which led me into this like twilight idea of today which is really good and I’m heading out to do some things but I just wanted to post this picture because it was really cute and also a couple other things real quick.
You guys are probably going to make fun of me for this (rightfully so)…….
Okay I’ll tell you in a minute.
I was laughing so hard.
I didn’t know I was that habitual.
This may make you men consider wrapping up your you know, before accidentally creating a piss-taker like me.
***I meant to say “way” as in, “see my way out the door”— six hours later after this conversation, screen shooting AND posting this, I finally notice. Maybe I was, in fact, blind.
(In reference to, number 1/20 of Solar Eclipse ocular health warning texts)
My dad was the official article-finder for eye damage of the eclipse. The site librarian.
HE HAS REFERENCES.
I love him so much. Hahahahahahahahahaha.
Trisha looks gorgeous at her baby shower. I hope someday I meet Trisha (again) and her baby (he’s not yet born, so that would be the first) and have the honor of giving them a really nice gift!!!
I think she chose the name Xavier, which is one of my all-time favorite names.
If you are friends with my sister, I just pretend that you’re my friend. Even if I’ve met you for two seconds half a year ago.
Kelsey will kill me for posting this, but Kelsey rarely is reading this blog. Maybe that will teach her a lesson not to let too much time go by before fan-girling her sis. I hope having a baby makes me look this cool someday and comes with a crown (I’m not kidding).
Sorry. It’s a tiara. (Is it Tiar or Tiara?)
The people at work call it a Tiar; if you’re family, you call it a Tiara.
Thanks for letting me know.
Knowing Kelsey, she’d probably rather me post a picture of her noodie that she thinks she looks good in, than one like this where she doesn’t. Although I think she looks pretty and adorable and sweeeeet!!! Unfortunately for her, I don’t think she got noodie at the shower for the baby. If you did, please send me pics and I will edit this one out.
❤ ❤ ❤ love this picture of these ladies so much!
It makes my heart go whoop! ❤ ❤ ❤
I have this joke where I finger-paint edit out like ONLY her privates, like REALLY specifically, like ONLY the nip, and a very thin landing strip, in rainbow of colors and then deem them acceptable for family-text-group use.
And she keeps thinking I’m not funny.
We kind of like sending the pics back and forth and all it does it prove to me how much we look like hairless monkeys. It’s my idea of family comedy time.
Emily Stewart again
Laundry Pt. 2
I got talking about these videos which you might like, and I wanted to post these before I did anything else, then I’m going to finish recording the podcast and then I’ll post that, so here they are 🙂
And it’s the part where I’m telling Blue, “Gigi’s home” and he’s sitting on my bed with me now, and now he’s confused about the fact that… I’m apparently telling him that “Gigi’s home” and he’s looking at me like, why is this getting replayed in my life?
Now it’s at the part where we are playing ball in the yard and he’s looking at me like, Why is someone saying these things to me when I am laying on the bed? What kind of bullshkit are you listening to?