Here is the video with some dramatic music to make you want to buy it

10979 Chalon Road in Bel Air

I pretty much only like houses with videos now.

Yes I am now adding this song to my playlist.

Yea You Can’t Trust A Dolphin

Happy birthday KIM!!!!!!!!!

Incoming: The ‘BU



Here’s another.

The sunshine and the skylines and the ocean there all amaze me. ❤ ❤ ❤

You Have To Appreciate This

A seven minute video complete with actors. For a home.

This is how they do things in… Bel-Air. (Which I just found out is in LA. I’m no geography whiz.) I still don’t know what the fuck Bel-Air is. Except for where Will Smith sometimes goes to see his fam.

I live for this shit.

No I’m not being sarcastic; I’m being real.

(I actually haven’t watched the whole film; I’m about to now. I like this fucking song!!!)

“massage studio/wellness spa”- Yes.

“85-foot glass tile infinity swimming pool, 40-seat 4K Dolby Atmos Theater, 4 lane bowling alley/lounge”- Yes.

“outdoor pop-up theater, 2 fully-stocked champagne/wine cellars, massive candy wall, the most advanced home tech system in the world”- OH HELLL TO THE MOTHAFUCKIN YESSS ON THE CANDY WALL. I SAW THAT SHIT AND IT ALMOST CONVINCED ME TO WANT TO BUY IT. And all that other shit’s cool too.

But for real I want that mother elfin wall of candy, foo!

“auto gallery w/cars worth more than $30mm, 7-person full time staff, over 100 curated art installations” okay, now this shit with me would never fly.

This is… over-curation.

(In my humble but always right opinion).

Firstly… the idea of seven people working for me ANY amount of time, just feels weird, but the fact that they COME WITH IT (???). I don’t even really know how to put into words, except I thought that kind of thing got abolished.


Wouldn’t you want to collect YOUR OWN auto gallery? Like, isn’t that the point?

“Worth $30M” awesome. That’s great. But wouldn’t you rather spend YOUR OWN $30M picking things out?

When it comes with it installed… I don’t know, for me, that’s taking away all the thrill of the chase.

I’m not doing these in order.

And same with art! Like. Dude.



BUY A $250,000,000 HOME. THAT’S COOL!



Now this is only for me– but this is literally all the money in the world aside– because money is great and I’m always in favor of that.

I’m just saying, it’s kind of amazing to me when you buy a house when ALL THE COLLECTING IS ALREADY DONE FOR YOU.

Like, the person who designed this mother fucking thing should just live in it, then! For real! It’s like, “Here is what I PERSONALLY LIKE. Here’s a house I’ve already essentially lived in and left all my shit, now you take it.”

Anyway. Whoever gets it, I think it’s cool.

I like the jets in the pool, the catamaran storage unit, the clean geometric lines, the grass on the roof, the surf movie they have playing in the bowling alley, candy ❤ swoon, the video playing behind the bar of the ocean (more surfing), the bubbles coming out of the girl’s nose (I’m not being sarcastic), I like the chairs in the pool, the helicopter on top of the roof, I LOVE whatever the fuck movie they keep having playing all over the home; if I could watch that outside by the pool, I would watch that all day, I like the real gator who’s paid to stand still on top of the grass roof, I like the second pool way up high, I like the fact that the house is nice enough to come with actors who will live in the home and show you around and show you how to live inside of your own home, and synchronistically swim (this is the secret to a good marriage), I DO think it’s cool that this house comes with James Franco. And penguins.

It looks cool at night.

Ultimately, I feel like this house is for someone who wants to save money by never having to go out.

You’ve got to give credit to anyone who wants to undertake that enormous home.

There’s a lot of aspects of it that I like. It’s genuinely too big for me, but I think that if you had a certain kind of lifestyle, then it would be an awesome party house and you could just have people over ALL THE TIME and host the best entertainment nights and it could be really incredibly cool.

I guess what I am saying is that I imagine anyone who actually has any level of creativity and taste probably wants to buy a home that isn’t fully pre-planned out.

(Don’t you at least want to hire your own staff?) I mean for me, that would be like, the last thing in the world I ever wanted to do but. I find the idea of having staff really fucking completely weird, but to each their own, truly.

But I for sure would want to go shopping for and pick out my own cars and go shopping for and pick out my own art.

It’s already enough for me when places come turn-key, and that’s just with the furniture.

But that is just me. And that is just my idea. I could be totally and completely wrong.

It’s a cool video, so check it out and see what you think. 🙂

**Any opinions expressed in this interview (with me, given to me by me) are solely my own, and do not reflect those of Hilton and Hyland, although they should, because my opinions are always correct and impeccably achieved through high level mental work, spiritual intuition, and scientific achievement of the finest degree.


I love this shot.


The fact that they have good enough taste to put surfing on this screen wins points with me.


I love anything that visually does away with walls. And the orange and blues. Plus the metallic sheen and glass. Nice elements here.


^^^^Need I say more?^^^^ (But I will.)


YAAAAA wellness.


I have a tactile fascination with velvet ropes.


I ADORE this because of the water.

It’s funny after I just wrote a post on curation, then I write this one, and in this listing they use the word “curation” or “curated” like 5,000 times. The thing for me is, the people out there are fucking brilliant let me just say. I’m sure they have IMPECCABLE taste and I know they have IMPECCABLE talent and skill beyond measure. For me, I just don’t want my whole fucking house and life planned out already before I even move in. For me, the fun of a house is that you move in and it’s kind of EMPTY and you fill it with things from your life as you move along. That is all. But I think this is masterpiece of incredible vision, talent, execution, imagination and skill.

Malibu vs. LA <3

This may sound really funny because I have always really loved the ocean, and I still do. That’s been the draw for me about Malibu. I really like the ocean and I like lots of land. And the two places I like the most out there both have between (I believe, don’t quote me) 1.5-3.something acres of land.

I like having a lot of land, which is something I learned by living here now (this one is on almost an acre), and especially with having a dog like the one that I do, who really likes to run and play ball, and meander around, having a big yard has been pretty sweet.

So I like the ocean and the nature thing with Malibu. (Plus, I LOVE WHALES.) MALIBU HAS WHALES. I read an article from a Malibu paper online the other day that had this quote that I saved, about how these whales come up so close to the shore sometimes, that people can hear them breathe (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), and I thought I was going to explode from excitement. I’m even feeling that way now, just regaling it to you.

On the other hand, there’s something I also really, really like about LA, and I’d say that it seems to me it’s more sunny and maybe a little bit warmer on average (like, the climate isn’t to neutralized by the sea), and also a part of me LIKES being in-land, the sturdiness of that, and also the architectural design. I’m not that chic myself as a human, but I can appreciate some of the more modern design.

Mainly, because of the way they utilize elements and let in the light, and the way the house can almost disappear, the lessening of boundaries between inside and out, and the way that nature can BECOME the design, because you’re looking through glass straight through to outside.

One of my favorite things in life is indoor/outdoor living. It isn’t so much for me an aspect of life– it’s a way of it. I do it every day here, as long as the weather is nice. I’m just an outside kind of person.

I just mean, to me, it’s important to be able to walk outside in your bathrobe or your pajamas, straight away into the day, into the sunlight and just play ball with your dog on a whim.

And write outside, paint outside, watch movies outside, hang your laundry outside, do your yoga outside, chat with your neighbors outside, just live and BE outside. You can leave the door open and just waltz in and out all day.

Or at the very least, I love having the windows open and being in natural light. Fresh air, sunlight and warmth of climate are all amazing to me.

I like the houses in Malibu that are actually on the bluffs, and which have their own beach. I love the water so much, but I feel like I like a little space between me and it, plus I love the birds eye view, plus those are the ones that tend to have the most yard.

I know me, and I know that if I’m going to live near the beach, I have to have my own beach right there, or else I probably wouldn’t ever go. It has to be something where I can just walk right outside and down a beaten path, and know that it’s mine and it’s always there. One of my favorite things in the world is being able to easily walk places without having to drive. Plus, if you have a dog in the same way as me, which means you bring him basically everywhere, and you want to know he can always be at the beach with you. (To see the whales, which are his telepathic friends. I wrote a book about it once, so that’s how you KNOW that it is true. Actually, maybe they were more like a set of visualized flashcards. Anyway, I digress.)

The yards in LA seem to be kind of small; which, if I didn’t have a dog, or the kind of dog that I have, who is kind of an earthy animal, I probably wouldn’t mind; in fact, it could be a plus. I LOVE the Hollywood Hills homes, because theres’s something SO magical to me, about the views from the hills. Looking out over all of the people and all of the lights, is almost on par to me with the ocean, in fact, in some strange way, to me, it is.

The other thing is, I think I’ve just gotten spoiled from having (in my estimation) so much land and so much yard, and also, I really like to paint, and I do that outside because I love being outside and also because it’s such a holy mess, but really, mostly, because I just love being outside. So some of these more modern places, it almost feels like there isn’t enough space or enough yard where I’d be able to really fuck it up. And the houses are so neat, and they’re totally white, and I’d be making them paint-filled and all blue (I DO use other colors, but for some reason it always seems to be blue that gets all over me and all the white in my home).

That’s what I like about Malibu, is that there’s space in the yard to spread out. LA seems to me, in some ways, to be the condominiums of homes. Like, even if you have a home, it’s still on a small space. Definitely can be a cool thing, depending on what you are wanting.

I like it when you can walk right out of your house, and still have a ton of natural space to just live and do whatever you please. Plus, no matter how beautiful your man-made surroundings, there’s something to be said about the importance of natural beauty, which cannot be denied. No matter how nice your home is, at least for me, how pretty is your yard and how much can you enjoy your yard and how much time can you spend in your yard, is like, always the mainest* thing.

(*I’m not waiting for Merriam-Webster to catch up.)

So I guess in that regard, I’m leaning toward Malibu still being my fave. I’ll always LOVE LA homes and the freshness of modern design (Malibu has some of that, too, for sure) and the clean textures and lines and the kind of “leading-edge” inventiveness of these amazing, incredible minds. And also, I love the kind of styles of like, the ones in Beverly Hills (I just always imagine Kris Jenner and her stairs and the black and white tiled floor– I just found out her home is in Hidden Hills, which, I don’t know where that is, but I get the general idea).

I like old architecture a lot, and I love the way some of the things used to be made, but I’ve been leaning toward a fresher approach for some reason– I literally remember where I was and the moment that it happened (during summer of last year), where I thought I was having a stroke because for the first time in my life I felt as if I wanted modern, or at the very least, new construction– because my whole entire life, everything I had ever stood for, had been old architecture and design. It hit me like a flash and I’ve never been quite the same again. There’s something to me that’s really cool about the freshness of something that’s new. Plus it’s way easier to clean.

Generally, I prefer lower square footage to some of the really LARGER designs, because you still always want it to feel like a home, but at the same time, it’s nice to have your space to go off on your own, while still being there. So, balance is key 🙂 (A thing I thought I’d never say, and still fully don’t believe, but, it has a nice ring.)

I just came across this architect today, his name is Paul McClean and his website’s really beautiful.