Sometimes I drink beer because I am out of seltzer. Beer lasts a lot longer in my house than seltzer does. Beer can last for months and months and months and seltzer’s shelf life here is only a few days.
Actually last week my neighbor came over and I was outside on the porch and I told her I was drinking a beer because I was all out of seltzer… and she came back over with a freshly never-opened bottle of Polar Seltzer and told me to pour myself a glass, which I thought was just unbelievably sweet.
Except for the fact like, I thought about it later that, “What if I was actually just using that as an excuse to drink beer, and then she ruined my only excuse!?”
You have to be careful, don’t go offering seltzer water to strangers. You never know how much it may fuck up their actual plans!
Luckily, she knows me. So like, this story ended properly. This story ended well.
Anyway. Alternate endings aside.
In MY universe, it was a happy ending.
Alright I am getting ready for a shower and then an early bed. This weekend’s weather looks so incredibly insanely nice and I am so stoked because you know I am a nature nerd. So whenever the weather is outdoor weather I am just so in my element and so ahhhhhhh.
I love it when I feel ready for sleep and for bed around 9 or 10 o clock. That for me is so prime because I love actually early to bed and early to rise. I love being awake naturally at really early hours. Especially in summer, oh man, as long as it’s warm enough to be outside, wow. I LOVE early morning hours soooo much. Like 3 am, 4 am, 5 am, 6. Oh don’t even get me started. When it’s already like bathwater outside, it just makes me want to die. Literally. It feels like I already did. I can’t even explain.
Where I live, summertime is like heaven on earth. I say I love California, and I do, but summers here are like, unbelievable. I love the smell of freshly cut grass, when it’s so humid and warm that the smell practically LIVES WITHIN your nose.
It’s like the air has turned into essence of grass.
I love oh… just the warm summer mornings, even the hot summer mornings. I love the humidity and the heat. I love anything warm. I love the long days of sun and how it’s bright early in the day. I just love it so much. I love other places because they have warm all year round or at least warmer all year round, but if it was summer all year round here I’d never ever leave.
And I like the more temperate climates like, in winter. I love Miami weather in the winter. But in the summer, I don’t want it regulated at all by the ocean. I want it to be freaking hot as hell and humid and SHIT because I LIVE all year for it. You will NEVER EVER see me complain because I literally wait all year for this shit. It can get as hot as it wants and I will never complain.
I never even used to use the A/C although last summer, I did cave and put one in my room just so that I could actually sleep. I used to have this thing where I’d say, “Yeah well, it was 100 degrees and muggy last night so I feel hungover as shit but so does everyone else.” And my friend who I lived with at the time was like, “Uh, dude, they have A/C. They’re sleeping just fine.” And I was like holy fucking shit I thought we were all in this thing together, dude!!!!
So yeah, I mean. Not everyone is as hard core as me. There was one day last summer where my parents were out of town (they have central A/C) and I hadn’t installed mine yet (this was the day that led me to it). And they only live about two or three or four (I’m SO bad with mileage I have no fucking idea) miles away but I had all I could do; I was SO strung out I wasn’t even sure I could make it to their house (driving, mind you) because it was like, I was so dead from not sleeping because of the heat. I literally felt myself wilting like a flower.
(A flower that’s wilting, not a fresh, healthy one.)
But I made it there, I finally made it.
And then, once I was finally like, passed out on the couch, ready to sleep… THAT WAS WHEN MY DOG WANTED TO PLAY.
NOW THAT HE WAS IN THE COOL AIR, HE SUDDENLY HAD ENERGY AND HE WANTED TO PLAY AND MAKE UP FOR THE LAST SEVERAL DAYS OF NOT A LOT OF MOVEMENT FROM NEARLY UNBEARABLE HEAT. IN FACT, HE WANTED TO FIT IT ALLLLLLL INTO THIS SINGULAR PLAY SESSION WHICH WAS TAKING PLACE IN MY MAKESHIFT BEDROOM. (THE COUCH).
I love my dog. I love the heat. I love Jesus.
(Two out of three ain’t bad.)
Alright alright I’m going to sleep.
By the way, stay on the lookout tomorrow for my recipe for grilled cheese dipped in hot sauce. You wouldn’t believe how you to it. People think it’s such a “sophisticated dish” and it’s actually SO easy to make in the comfort of your VERY own home, even with what minimal preparation tools you probably have. It is NOT over your head, trust me. I have taught this recipe to millions of people and they are all SUCCESSFULLY making them, too.
I LOVE SELTZER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sleep tight and sweet dreams from me to you! ❤ ❤ ❤
Dream of WONDERFUL things!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU CAN DO IT! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Think of happy things as you are falling asleep 🙂 It works!!!!!!!!!
And think of happy things the moment you wake!!!!!!
It also works!!!!!!!
All the love all the love all the love
TILL THE MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!